Feb 99 - god mate you are unbelievable.......
Here's a list of compiled TXT from My Documents - ah but also need DOC ??
Hmmmmm.... and pub ?? ... argh .....
As always xxxx at each section ?? .....
addresses & passwords
A bit much!.txt
A few Publisher 98 tips.txt
Add ons for Notebook!.txt
Adrian - work issues & bursts! & Leonard!.txt
Adrian! God I get nervy! and incoherent!.txt
Ah! VOG fudge it!.txt
Alien!.txt
Attachments !!!.txt
Before I reformat! for fractal extreme! mate !!.txt
CLEVER!.TXT
Compiled Information!.txt
Damn! Forgot Floppy! redo tips!.txt
dead can dance.txt
December 4 !!.txt
December 30 1998 !!.txt
DETAILS!.TXT
Email and fiddles details & Passwords!.txt
email!!.txt
Final Marilyn!.txt
Fractal mind.txt
FTP!.TXT
God!!! Final Di for 1998! Jesus!!.txt
Idioto! Re-format can retain zips!.txt
Just your average day! Christ!!.txt
List of CAB files of Pub 98 trial!.txt
Marinka!.txt
mind!.txt
mira!.txt
More Ideas.txt
My TV service at sofcom.txt
othello chat and chic!.txt
Phil! stax to do and I get dot matrix!.txt
Pocket sheet for if I work!.txt
poems!.txt
poems-99.txt
poems.txt
POSITIVE.TXT
PSYCHOSI.TXT
SABLEC THE CONQUEROR.txt
Stufff for $6 Notebk!.txt
The Chaotic Mind - print for Di!.txt
Tournaments! including rules!.txt
Try this! for 5 AM on 5th consec 35 degree day!.txt
Update file for email uploads - think!.txt - mate hardly needed ??
VOG password and notes already!.txt
Why printed color differs from screen colour !!.txt
Your devious mind never stops does it! Publisher Downloads!.txt
Then the doc - converted to txt ....
$$Upload.doc
ASTROL.DOC
di-2.doc
Print at Flinders Jan 99.doc
PSYCHOSI.doc - same as txt version but fonts jazzed up mate ...
New addons - think ...
"For Next News group!.txt"
"Gilbert! well! he does force you to think if nothin else!!.txt"
poems.txt addons
xxxx addresses & passwords
Di for freeservers grjallen & ftp HTM - to what address ?? or use File Manager
Hotmail is Delaney & grjallen
[email protected] is Di
Fortune City is grjallen & german - ftp.fortunecity.com
NOW - Steve is sdallen_99 & german and his mail works! how much ?? 3 meg!
geoall and german at email.com
[email protected] is Di
delaney for [email protected]
gallen99 & german at guardian online - Telegraph too ?
REBKLP for Melbpc connection
grjalle & german at Freedrive - if I can work out FTP ??
Microsoft - hotmail address & german
xxxx A bit much!.txt
31.12.98 - will I ever keeep track of it all ? (irony?) .....
send myself email updates - NOT that I ever reallllly read even my own
notebks !!
as well as encrypt updates ... argh .... obsession time! these will be on:
* Flinders & Leonard as DAT * BBS as encrypt
* Disks as backup * Some at my "website"
* some at free drive ?? * Some at hotmail ... mate ....
oh well .....
...
In fact email better! cos can delete old versions of the encypt!...
As opposed to bbs where many many obsolete copies !!!!
xxxx A few Publisher 98 tips.txt
Need to draw a frame for text, for clipart, for wordart
Text manipulation as in wordprocessor
File saving & opening
(single click to select a frame, then can move or resize or rotate or fill etc
Format, Font gives access to OUTLINE, emboss or double underline etc ....
Keyboard shortcuts for manipulating text - Ctrl A, C, X, V, F4, N,
Word Art when finished - click outside the wordart frame to remove the toolbar,
then single click to select the wordart frame to fill it or put border etc
see fill.pub and other examples
Layering - see help - Ctrl T will make a text box transparent so can have an
image behind it - either clipart or a shape with gardient or pattern inside it.
Positioning objects - use the "Arrange" menu - can line objects up with each
other also
Format Painter - first have to select the style you want to copy - single
click and double click work differently
Defining Text styles and can save them in Templates
Other Menus - Tools - spelling as well as Design Checker to see if
errors in the
design or layout.
F7 for spelling BUT first have to select text frame
Can FILL a clipart - and other Format options ?
Auto Shapes can be rotated and filled with colour or patterns and
alter the border
** In flyer - and future ones - use filled shapes instead of always a
plain square text box - and get ideas off their flyers wizard
Can rotate any object - even a text box
Can add borders to clipart too
Margins, Tabs on ruler as in wordprocessor
Define: single click, double, object, dragging mouse to select,
moving mouse with button released, drop down arrow, frames, Toolbar,
Menu Bar, Wizards
Select text by holding down Shift & using cursor keys, Home, End etc
As with word 97 - can have bullet lists or numbering etc
File basics like opening from floppy and saving to floppy
Text Styles apply to entire paragraph - unlike format painter
RIGHT click for quite a few options like edit or delete or border
or fill patterns & can zoom as well - may be easier.
Can copy and paste from other programs such as Word 97 or Internet browser.
"Small Caps" icon can be nice effect
Read up on backgrounds via help?
Using help - can do a right click or view demos esp when using wizards
Wizards - delete object, double click to edit
Newsletter wizard? - can use the overflow function to allow a story
to continue
onto another text frame or onto another page.
Also - can insert Page Numbers onto the Background - see help.
Also check out Design Gallery ? different from version 97 ?
xxxx Add ons for Notebook!.txt
Add ons for the Notebook
Well one that pops to mind is Vivid dreams as part of that
Oct 97 vintage anger! and again last night 18.9.98! BOY!
Something about knives and cutting myself and scaring
family - MUST indicate something!!!!!!!!!! Plus others
about plane crashes and cliffs and driving and doing
weird stuff - well you are a psycho!!!
What else - well I never read printouts (okay, they are in
rucksack and Flinders resumes means more chance to print ...
NOT to mention porn off internet! Bold & Beautiful,
Kate Winslet etc.....
Well in lead up to resume Flinders - almost the OLD anger and attitudes!!
Then as has happened! It flips! I am a psycho!! It flips when I see Karly
photos from Qld 98 and talk of internet and CRS soon and sport and
PERSONALITY CLASHES in sports and elsewhere!! ..... hmmm...plus Solar System
screen saver - oooh didn't write fix.bat cos it is 7 day limit! oh well
plus printed my poems and Mahjong hands and helped around the grounds
plus plus ... hmm.....
In fact rewrote Glimpses - best ever ??? Plus wrote on journey there! - You
COULD interpret this as my instincts leading me away from a bad choice! I
really don't know- I suffer from terminal uncertainty! ..... In fact here is
Glimpses - In a single moment of shattering clarity
Glimpses
I saw eternity in a blade of grass
It was an instant with no disparity
The present and future became the past
There was another moment
I hesitate to bring it up
I paused for just a second
And saw infinity in a paper cup
There was no doubt and no confusion
No-one was confounded by illusion
Now we all live in a tiny hut
The blades of grass have all been cut
Oh I also wrote okay, the psychiatrists DID say stress can trigger psychotic
episodes! And stress can be anticipatory! ......Then put NASA photos into a
DOC then.... oh yeah see txt file I did on floppy at Flinders.....
Here it is aews! -
whenever it hits you tend NOT to talk or relate or look at books
or look at photos or think as they do ... hmmmm.....
Then Frank!! and 4 wild! and nothing has changed! The one memorable hand I
had and actuallllly got was 4 chows and even then had to do it sans a wild!!!
Then 3 pis in 3 hrs ?? nerves ?? Then Kate!! and texta and aliens and ....
next week Gumbuya?? hmm.... mate ....
Now! The Secret of Life poem - He whispered it softly, I was distracted, His
thoughts were so lofty, His face was enraptured, He spoke of the world,
And all of its traps, Be more like a cat, And take lots of naps, He spoke of
society, It was so complex, The source of anxiety, Wondering what is next, He
spoke about death, And worlds beyond, Think about life, As a lily on a pond
He stopped his speech, I began to wonder why, It was just of reach,
Like a bird in the sky.
It keeps coming - well you'd expect that mate.....
Crows! again sparks afew - here's one I aint put in notebk: Oh, come on.
Okay, if I barracked for a team that did it I'd be laughing too! Both years
you think oh how did that happen! Anyway.... it revolved around luck &
fairness & humour & timing & Blight - read it..... plus that got me back onto
my favourite obsession! fairness - and the BIG one where so many people never
exposed to anything that might open a crack in their minds (no pun?) Oh plus
the FACT taht in a world of such unfairness, those who get a RAW deal MAY
not handle it in a nice manner - That is something nobody WANTS to
think about! except me! ....
A few more into front of notebk I already ignore!:
Sing => "I love to sing strange songs about being insane"
Whistle! and bird noises! EDGE!
NEW book club! => Tao of Pooh & Nostradamus & Quotes & Impossiblity &
Figments of Reality & Calm at Work!? & Bart Simpson's Guide to Life ...
Web => Gleick, Naomi, Lukis, Sully - is she STUNNING! ....
Dwarf tapes! - Better than Life! .....
The manic surge continues and Marilyn is soon ... and now GAS crisis !!
Now after Marilyn and see CRS.DOC !! and election ! and new poems....
Well, first this after hearing argh the dogma is far from over! The Democrats
will control "the balance of power" in the Senate and say they will block
the GST on food as it is unfair. Well, 1. There is already more than 10 % on
some foods so they will actually come down! 2. What makes your opinion
superior (and that is ALL it is! an opinion!) 3. Unfair? well on that basis
you'd never pass any legislation because there is absolutely no way to make
its impact perfectly fair on every single individual in the community. That
is the nature of human life! You cannot remove the intrinsic unfairness!
Anyway, here's a few out of rucksack taht aren't in the NOTEBK version I have
uploaded ?? ... oh well here they are anyway (there are stax in previous
notebk versions and I never read anyway!!! .......
In fatc, the very first is a note about argh! I currently have Return of
the Gods, Tao of Pooh, Awakening to zen, Nostradamus lined up and the Office
97 but somehow I never actually get around to reading them........
"The secret of life is to meditate on the nature of madness"
SUMMER NOTES: Citronella & sit outside?
Bakewell Party - coming soon below
SOAK clothes regular
Roof ? - drill hire and weld ? rivets ?
Recent trip when I purchased the Return of the Gods - only bought it due to
1. Used 1997 scratch to make the trip to Malvern 2. Only able to do it due
to saying no to Frank! 3. Only there a short time (saw systems for $900!
and Educat CD and samplers and WIN95.COM has changed its site name and stax)
so I amble back and spot the book and happen to open it at section on alien
abductess and "Improperly Programmed" looks interesting IF I ever get around
to .....
Well, ther were afew about bursts sparked by Leonard work! hmm.. and maniacal
lyrics and heat!
ONE day alone - 7 AM sleepin seems a luxury after hte rooster! then Frank and
XMAS party and his life ahs been a soap opera! then WASPS !!!! in window box!
how ????? then reformat! and near panic phew! use OEMSETUP! the dodgy floppies
and ANGRY reactions to rooster and council!! Yeah, back to Frank - I am
slightly better at those situations but I still WISH I could freeze the
action and remove myself from it...
Second hand laptop? and caravan - Qld ??
Bakewell party! - Cooler pack & Ice blocks & water bottle & use it to wet head!
& barley and ISO & bananas & panadol & sunscreen ... think!
Wet self with bottle on trips too! think!!
Then Steve & his PC troubles and resolution and -OEM-
Qld 97 saw - Karly unbelievably attached to me & Mt Warnig & 2 horror bus
trips! which leads to DPC and crisis team! and Leonard and Michell! - past 14
years in huge talk and family and stilll ambivalent about "rehab" and it
still could be aliens!.... and they only bother with peolpe who have NOT
filled their haeds with garbage!
1992 - Glenn & Teh and we did have some CLASSICS before I spoilt it! & 999
& Grabber & Holysmoke & Dave Hatch
TT - ditto! - Geoff Smith! & Bob & E2 better choice? & heaps I wish I had on
video! athletic scrambles & reflex retrievals! - AZTECS - SCOTS - REDSKINS
- CINDY - SCORES .....
XMAS: big toy stores for kids ideas & cheap calendars of cute animals etc
Yowies Food Calendars Books & sales plan....
RON!!.EXE - run of links can be absolutely INFURIATING but I flick it off at
scores I would once have regarded as the Twilight Zone! and so much for
Zen and for-its-own-sake!
Frank & his DL - some by careless discards by people NOT as familiar with
the hands! and some out-of-the-blue when didn't start out looking too
promising !!
1996 saw - Gutters! & Roof! & hit Dad with a tree! & Drains! & Door lock
& Mt Eliza & Vet & prison & Hocus & Funky & Leak Seal & bitumen & elbows
& Killrust & Draino & Tricleanium & roller & pole & plasytibond & clamps
& space invader & paint & baby sitting .. boy....
1993 - stories of Keith and me being the most improved in E1 !!
Late 1995 - working on a few PC !! - Web, Mini, Flinders, mine,
Peter, Denise!
Christ! 96/97 summer saw !! - 36, 41, 37, 40, 35 with 4 days of 30 C in house
and later 3 lots of 40! and hits 34 in house! and pounding head and involuntary
convulsions so I cannot keep water or panadol down!!! That is Hell!!! see the
weather Micro when I absolutely "lost it" !!!
Plus a tin roof and dubious insulation doesn't help !! Seriosly considered
a $700 air condit - turns out they cost even more!! and it went on vent
and batss and even then left out kitchen ???
Plus reflections on whether family see it as a waste as I have such a BRAIN!
Then again I also am capricious and a hot head so it is a volatile mix!
Xmas 97 - the best diving one hander in thongs you'll ever see!!
[That is up to page 1-39 rear of the rucksack copy ...]
It keep coming - more onto crs.doc! after internet..... and a new poem - a bit
too way out? ... call it The Psychotic Dream (or True Identity ??)
Tape 36 has prophecy and the Hopi and others .. hmm...
aliens
Oh my ..... this has been well and truly overloooked in past weeks
as manic surge continues! Now check More Ideas.txt plus NEW version of Journey!!
(Di guesses password!) plus printhis.txt plus some went straight into combine1.doc
Plus Print These.doc !!! same day as I buy 4 CD!!! Bookshelf Encarta 98 saga!!??
and Trouble Shooter & Library of Future... boy .....
And now! [ as CRS gets closer to a real test of whether I can work - see crs.doc
and others!!!! ...... a few things added to notebk! -
In PC section-
Encarta 98 saga and eventually just bend it !!! Library of Future has some obscure
ones but little Nietzsche or Orwell or others! .... or Joyce ...
Open recent HTM via the Find command (save the search!) and lasso them !!
Then I learn basics of doing a HTM for the Mahjong tiles !!?? Leonard ??
Photo Editor (and Photoshop if we get it!) - can do good effects! and BOOK is
at TAFE !! ...
Clipart setup off the Word 97 - open 10 meg CAG file off the CD itself ....
Sites - god! stackssss .... see sites.txt ! - Knotplot and Dr Matrix & free
email address ?? where? was it thinks.com ?? plus ABC online plus SBS plus Mahjong
& prostate & sunsmart and Who Weekly ?? & Jennifer Love Hewitt ??
Also "Does God Play Dice" & Davies both at Noble Park - Dad & printouts....
.... and puzzle sites - Sarah ?? .... Poetry, Art, Everest .... WORTH getting a
student card each year ?? ......
Not to mention Star Trek, Solway!!!!!, chics (tough at tafe!!!), all this
in lead up to CRS & Dandenong Valley Job Support ....
Plus a few more tips from Office 97 book and should print out.......
************* that lot above was posted into combine2.doc on Oct 27, 1998 ...
"I like to visit the alien abduction website"
"I believe in the ecstasy of madness"
More sites - seeeee sites.txt ..... mathlab, AND FREE.HTM has lists
of other math/educat software!! free or otherwise.... and http://
www.hcn.net.au/info/intro.htm - lots of health info ....
I aint added to THIS in ages - but a stack of txt files!!!! and doc files
NOW! I'm doin HTM for Flinders and for TAFE and Blake book - see Bookshelf? or
LOTF or Guttenberg - sure mate! I mean you reallllly read:
* The print outs * The HTM !! * Library books - Blake, Joyce, Stewart, Davies
* Your own stuff * argh .....
Oh plus new Leonard PC & softaware & soooon Rosie! and job - BIG incentive is
a system upgrade!? and faster modem ?? !!!!!
Yep - see sites.txt! - Y2K, Shoshanna!, Blake, Pinata, Leonid, Bible Codes & wacko
site!, Bath Bombs, Recipes, Geocities!?, Cassandra ..... Stewart .... etc etc ....
Yeah Blake! for 18th century - I mean that's radical and inspired for now! and JUST
as accurate!! .... read you looooooony ..... work ?? .....
Latest marilyn - it is slow going - very comprehensive questionnaire!! -
she leaves in 2 weeks ... um does thinking that the human race could
be an illusion or that I am being controlled (or tormented) by telepathic
aliens or that I may be a genetically engineered robot from outer
space - do they constitute "paranoid ideations" that could affect
work performance!! .....
{or psychotic desire to vaporise all the dull people) .... anyway
Internet OBSESSSION continues! even in full rain gear! .... Geocities
and password ????? & email & pinata & our house & bath bombs & Yoda &
Pyramids & Doublink2 & Tetrahedron & yeah I probly
WILL do $140 ! - powerful INCENTIVE! - may need faster modem ? &
system - cos at the moment I flit around like a beee..... Chaotic
Mind, Positive Thinking - can get interesting results from USA.COM
or METACRAWLER .... hmmmm....
THEN again!!!!! I rarely read my OWN stuff let alone the stax of
printouts & files ..... hmmmm.... and Newsletter continues - teaching
Nicole & learning things myself!
* like yeah, delete Sat & Sun columns then simply resize ENTIRE frame!
* Stax new poems and pub 98 setout &
*** oh plus seeee the various different TXT lately !! boy .... marilyn,
rosie!!, Ideas, publisher via email?, etc etc .....
Printouts - apart from the dozen or so at Flinders (mainly Y2K! &
Davies & Erdos!)
are: Roaches!, Blake, Bible Codes, Journey, Poems, Quotes off Bookshelf
and could be stax more ..... mate THERE ARE BOOOKS LIKE PEOPLE USED
BEFORE MODERN TECHNOLOGY!!
Plus keys saga!!! Think! rear shed!
Plus QBASIC & Amatuer Chaologist! & Ian Stewart & Gilbert's stuff!!!!
Plus Ten Indian Commandments & Escher & Phil O'Sophical & hot Caroline! &
AOL saga!!!
which leads to Netscape!! & BOOMARK, GRJALLEN FLINDERS, ETC ETC ....
Plus Java editing out of htm! - look for script or applet !!!
plus the ads! .... plus learnt QUITE a bit about htm
.... and there are editors - and even Publisher or Word 97 .... PRACTICE!
yeah sure!
*** Berwick for larger downloads ? & chics?
oh plus Municipal - annnnnoying kids but downloads quite fast! and
I'd say ya could slip a disk in!
It's a bit paranoid! I mean you can't execute anything on floppy
so the only remote way it could happen is a boot sector virus and leave
floppy in! and even then! the computers have VET !!!!!!
*** Lately - BACK! - lie on floor on elbows, change posits, move
lower 1/2 of legs and just think ....
*** Sardines & Omega 3 fish oils ....
Pure Nonsense
I am a flame in the underwater garden
I am the twelve pages of the night
I bounce and glide on milky streets
I drag my socks into the light
*** Astrological report - boy !!!! is some of that so spot on it'
s scary - seee page 16 at least (as usual only skimmed thru it at
all looking for something else - irony ? ) ..... here's a bit aews! -
You are an expert at working with words that communicate mystaical
and mythological ideas. You are at home in these realms and can always
manage to bring other-worldly ideas into the practical realms. You
would make an excellent teacher of philosophy or religion, for you
can't help but communicate these subjects and enchant all who come
to know you. Your understanding of the unity behind appearances,
along with the ability to put htese thoughts into words, is a rare
and valuable gift. You would make a good director, for you like working
with mental images.
BOY !!!!!!!!
I do NOT imagine they'd write that in your average profile ??!!!!
Ironic! as one of my manty "rehearsals" is "I think in slightly different
circumstances I could be a cult leader" ..... for Rosie ??? Yeah -
that bit in "Chaotic Mind" I can't locate the book - on photocopies
on an old notebk !! hmm.....(ah, it also has photocops of 3 Christs! -
Di ?? plus Nietzsche too - from my more angry period! plus Zen dance
etc from OMNI !plus TT scores! ) - "Since the beginnings of recorded
history, ....mate I'll do a separate file! called "The Chaotic Mind" -
and print fro Di ?? - hmmmmm!!!!
One of the photocops seeems to say it is THE TROUBLED MIND!!!?????
*** Could even print for m & d ????
Then old Newsletters (also while ferreting around) - shows how MUCH
of me is in it now!! in the design and content! ....
From rear lounge notebook (as allllways the rucksack one is hopelessly
disorganised and all over the place! needs a rewrite but I rarely
ever read any of em.....) - from the "Coping" section - yep, now
dec '98 (a year's time will be interestin!!) - and yes, I cannot
recall actually reading the lounge OR rucksack notebks in the past
months !!... anyways.... over 50 poems now and still comin! - and
in a real sense THEY are a "coping Mechanism" - the ideas IN and
BEHIND them ...
... and this from latest Newsletter where Peter tadman said we should
be putting things in to keep people well. I suggested we are not
trained professionals, he questioned whether my articles on Mahjong &
Y2K would do anything to help - I was a bit hesitant and said at
least they might distract people a while. Yeah, they will be so fascinated
and stimulated they won't have any time to be ill. & my poems well,
they will fix people right up! My poems have that magical quality
that can cure anything! and even bring about world peace - but only
if they are read in the right WAY...
... same day download POSITIVE.EXE off net ... interesting angles
and metaphors like a thought is neutral - until you associate an
emotion with it. Plus bits on the subconscious and focussing energy ....
NOT to mention Sheldrake, Blake, 10 Indian Commandments etc etc ....
liek one poem! "with a million words to guide me" .....
A few days later .. mate ..... in one day! 4-12-98 sees! Well first
an aborted walk to Tafe then restart 30 mins later .... print 19
pages for Di !! of Tibet & Troubled Mind & Leary & Jouney Through
Madness ... then a huge talk (as BBQ cancelled for second week in
a row) as to how it all happened and Larundel & the horrrrror of
Haloperidol and being forced to take it and not being able to convince
em that it's the pills that are making me like this! plus aliens
and why kill? to prove it's an illusion plus the absolute IMPOSSSSIBILITY
of the psychiatrists job! to judge whether a thought will ever become
an action! Then with 90 mins to kill before teach Michelle Pub 98! (
and being paid for it!) I wander off to Municipal to further research "
Troubled Mind" at Library of Congress! - Solomon Snyder .... and
print 2 pages on SEROTONIN as person left 2 sheets! plus! 2 books
in 616.89 and poems! very similar! and very similar "delusional"
thoughts - and both suicided!!
Then Michelle (I'll put details in here later!) - you do learn a
bit by teaching others! like Deb & Den HSC Maths ... oh plus John
Gribbin & John Taylor in section near "Cosmos" ..... then 34111 you
have to be kiddding! and 34118 looked very similar with deep pair
ups and abab everywhere! but solved it! irony? He never does in 65,
000 attempts ... plus Tibet printouts from HTM - argh! big gaps cos
HTM told it to print "white" on white paper! also irony !!?? .....
plus Savlec - I reckon Gilbert is definitely
from another planet!!! This month alone seees me doing - Cover &
Contribs & 3 Pages Poems & Positive & Mah Jong & Milllenium Bug &
maybe Bath Bombs, Prostate etc PLUS adding fancy stuff to other poems &
articles & farewwell to Students! both have nice titties! ..... plus
maybe Calendar ?? .....
Well ther is absolute DYNAMITE in those 19 pages BUT to show the
diametric ends of psychosis "The Glory of Madness" & "The Nightmare
of Schizophrenia" could have been in there too (TROUBLE.DOC - argh!
I neaten up page nos BEFORE setting Laser as default printer!) ...
boy ....that aint the end! (only 7 hours worth!) ....
JUST on bedtime "Every death is a suicide. Disease is just a subconscious
slow suicide. If people were genuinely happy they'd never die or
age!!!" boy!!! You ARE a lunatic!
Oh plus ... one variant of the killing is to tell God or whoever
is incharge of this show that I refuse to be part of your stupid
plan and so I'll kill a few dozen of these gutless idiots that would
never DARE speak up! ... mate ..... then! VIVVVVID dream! of growth
on ankle and burst it seemed full of fish!! You are a madman!!!
Next day is Egypt & hieroglyphs & "Is schizophrenia a disease & prostate ...
then I read Sablec! Oh my! Brilliant! Gilbert does "present" as the
CLASSIC madman!! But brilliant with it!!!
Adddd to the list of what else coulda gone into Trouble.doc for Di ...
doublethink - aint in that version of Journey ???? weeeird .... Plus!
Quotes off bookshelf ..mate ....
Now .... internet!!!!
Boy! see details.txt! for first 24 hrs drama!! ....
Also cache! clean out?? and saves images! like bras!!
Now! Othello & Lingerie & Creative Writer &&&& but!!!
opens 2 windows sometimes? Like TAFE! CLOSE EM ??
Plus Gillian & Eakes & Winslett & a milllion ....
Now what!! - Phil! and setup his!
- a couple of mini dramas due to ah speakers need power! and looose
connections! and FAX - ah! it'ss bein loaded by win.ini !!!
- Then internal modem racked my brains .... I'd never used one - apparently
it needs a splitter cable to plug into!! sheee.....
- Plus I get his dot matrix ??? hmmm...... irony....
- Very little on it! Msworks - give him pinball, pub97, word ?
..... (4dos) tbav ... let alone internet! .... oh Cinemania film clips
cos he does like films ...... On day where printed final Newsletter
and never quite got around to Bath Bombs! or Ian Stewart review or
puzzles or .... yet way over 50 % is my content or my design or both!
..... or other xmas ideas .. oh well.....
Oh mate .... it keeeeps coming - now new version rewrite but AS usual!
doesn't include all the past books and adds bits ... argh !!! but
HUGE week takes a toll ?? near relapse (% consec days are Bakewell,
Mt Eliza Club lunch, Di and pizza, DVJS, Leonard bbq xmas! then a
whole day off before Karly ! .....
Yep, some VINTAGE stuff as bad as in ages! like wishibng to be reborn
as Anti Christ to exterminate mankind. and my old favourite about
nobody being satisfied and how really monstrous people are to pretend
they are! and ooooh if only I could explode them by thought alone! .....
is it coincidence it happens on way to first "official" DVJS effort
and job (and allll the bullllshit that will entail!) coming nearer -
weellll! a litttle nearer! as xmas break and then 2 wks before he'
s away a month !!! .... hmmm..
..
Mate! I think we have well & truly established you are a lunatic
by now! Di really is playing with dynamite if she sees me (as in
her card!) as "intriguing" - hmm....
"I'm not sure I accept that. I'm not sure I ever will. I'm not sure
anybody should"
And yet, I write ..... "No comparisons" - full implications of that
Assumptions .. mate ....
and a couple of days earlier ..."I'm actually using telepathy to
control half the human race. (or the universe) People rob banks and
they come and give me all the money. I love it!" "I think the secret
of life is to garb a huge knife and plunge it into your chest! As
it goes in, you become an immortal lunatic and live in the 12th dimension
of reality. This is just a 3 dimensional representation of me." mate ...
as if
Meanwhile, of course!, the ultimate in modern distractions ... the web ....
..... HOT MAIL is superb! (if only I had fast pc ! well mate! That
IS the main if only reason this may proceeeed!!!!) plus Eden, Sirtis,
Jasmin, Hewitt!, Hopi Prophecy!, a milllion guides to sites and now $
10 book! mate .... Georg Anderson, Petz, Britannica, Kids, Stonehenge,
Grey Labyrinth - probably DAMN good move that I'm restricted to 2
hrs a day!! Oh plus Phil and his dramas & splitter cable and oh boy,
I'd advise NO way is it value! in a year you'd pay enough to buy
equivalent second hand! oh well ..
...
Xmas 98 fasssst approaching ... massage soaps, toy shops, Chadstone,
Markets, Book sales, soaps, candles, food, ....
Internet - weeeeeird!!!! - (mate ya have a slow system AND modem -
it's probly stressssed out!!!) ..... FAT.DB - wiped it out after
a period where it would NOT connect to a link unless enter the address
manually - that would be a bit TOOO much aggravation! - had to exit
to dos once - then realise! ah!
******* CAN RENAME THE CACHE DIRECTORY! clever !!!!
REinstall ???? or use MSIE ?????
ALSO needed to Ctrl-Alt-Del at one stage to remove netscape from
memory .. hmm...
.... also FTP ??? I have downloaded but how do ya upload!? (NOW I
have freeservers AND freedrive - a lot of freee stuff! ) ... install
a ftp prog? it DOES connect to ftp sites BUT how does one upload ????? ....
try cute ftp ???
Less hectic week ?? after Bunyip being 6th in 7 days!!!! ... but
I do have Di & Bill & Card & Resume and next day Adrian early and
Deb weedin ??? ......
Was a bit up & down and some REAL vintage stuff!!!! like wishing
to be reborn as Anti-Christ to exterminate humanity! & my old favourite
about self-deception & how few would survive w/o lying to themselves
every day .... charming! .... and "no comparisons" - fuull implications
of that! and ASSUMPTIONS ... MATE ... "I can see 15 angles to every
argument and 15 levels of assumptions behind every attitude ....
TRULY open mind - NO reason to believe something & NO reason to disbelieve
it ..... then Instant Calm
- bookshop or Library and even on net .....
Plus wasn't there a bit about negative emotional energy & artificial
living generates it by the bucket load & there's a limit to how much
you can insulate yourself from it .... yet also SPONTANEOUS "Why
do we scream at each other - this is what it sounds like when doves
cry" mate you are a lunatic.... I was the KEKBOINDLER of life ....
People tell me their twelve ways & I tell them there is only twelve .....
I found twelve and twelve they went ... I was twelve and you were
there ... there were twelve and I was there .....
Oh a whole stack before & after xmas 98 !! see txt files! Marinka! and
relapse and rebound and now! 62154 becomes THE most astonishing ever?
a pair up ON a pair up! and abab in same line with one of the deep
pair! I thought great solve and NO way KNOWN will mjsolve get it!!
well .... 8 in 40,000 ! shows anything is possible? I would have said
it's about as likely as Stephanie hooping on a plane and then onto my cock!!
...
...
Thatshould be HOPPING ...
...
Written same day as Caroline ringing to invite me to Leonard New Year's
lunch .. mate she took over my "case" while Di away ....
...
Followed by 30.8 million with 5 th ball still alive! one of best ever!
at a time when "lunch" has been goin 1 hr ... hmm ...
Then decided to go right back in aews! and you won't believe this! No I did
not top that score BUT got 16.2 mill on first ball! and 21.2 mill when the
game ends with 2nd ball alive !!!!! wow!! 7 balls all got a bonus and in
effect only 5 were dead and 2 of those went up side! for total of what is it?
52 million! struth ... now if I could only get similar luck and instinct where
it counts !! ...
Again and extend sequence to 10 balls all got initial bonus! 12.8 mill in 3
ends with 5th ball alive and "only" 16.3 mill ... but what a run !!!
...
63 million in 12 balls may never bematched But I seem to recall saying
that about some oilcap scores !!!
A few hrs later (after I find zips CAN be attached!) I continue the surge!
19.8 mill and 3rd ball just dies as the game ends ...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx sent in email 1.1.99 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(in files1 & files2.zip - think!)
So paste whatever folllows into "update.txt" so uploads SMALL!!!!
(and think about OCCASionally sending files1 & files2 so dont seem as if they
have been there for ages .. mate .....)
xxxx Adrian - work issues & bursts! & Leonard!.txt
Boy - as observed a few times! it can spark bursts EVEN if not "pleasant" at
the time !!??
Yeah - I mentioned "bad vibes" - and that will be a huge issue! cos some (lot
of people I can't bear to be around. It will boil down to a decision as to
whether the compromises (discipline, surrender of time & energy, subduing of
psychiotic intensity & bad vibes if any) are compensated by the well what
would be compensation? the money ?? the possssibility of meeting ....
mate .... sparked a heap the next day ! (which was also 3 hour PC session at
Leonard where I barely touch the computers! but we DID cover aliens, computers,
the pyramids, Book of Revelations, work history, Gilbert and stax other stuff
....and drugs and ..... ) ....... Sometimes I fantasize about
saying things that would freak people right out, just to see if their tiny
minds could handle it. The truth is, my honest opinions about everything are
so extreme nobody would want to hear it (suicide, normality, euthenasia, etc).
So quite often I can't think of a thing to say that wouldn't upset people, so
I often find myself agreeing with views I do not agree with. (anarchy etc)
Well, maybe the old solution WAS the best - there is still a HUGE part of me
that believes it's not Me that's sick it's soiety and I am one of those who
CANNOT or WILL not subdue their natural instincts to conform to a warped
society. ...well mate then why be in reahb at ALL .... GOOD question!
& stax I can't recall and never wrote down ....
.. oh yeah plus when I desribed the anger and he said that's unrealistic
since you can't do anything about it. Well maybe I should hold onto that
anger - it is what creates the psychotic ecstasy which is like a drug - you
will DO anything or scrifice anything to get it and to keep it going - show
to Di ?? .... again the question would be okay why rehab!
More ... well, if I was tue to my beliefs I'd have been dead LONG ago. I
really believe the only valid protest is suicide - if you can live with it
then it can't be all that bad (or if you're prepared to put up with it)
And if you COULD kill yourself just by wishing it, I'd have died many years
ago, and so would MILLIONS of others.... oh plus a brilliant phrasing of
"good enough reason" and convincing yourself but I never wrote it down ....
[Oh more on Leonard session - I actually said "I don't know about that" which
is the equivalent of other people saying "bullshit" ! ... "I'm not convinced
the voices aren't real" ... "Sounds like it" ... ""You would (or wouldn't)
think so" .... "Sounds like you're having a bad day" .. "I honestly wouldn't
have a clue" ... "I wouldn't be too sure about that" ..... (because by
definition "too" sure is TOO sure ..... "Not at the moment" ....]
If I told people what is really going on in my head They'd say this guy should
be locked up - and they might be right! I'd imagine there are people who have
had very similar views who have become psycopaths! ... but it was better phrased
..... hmmm ....
How many ways can a man walk through clouds
And how many days can he talk to the crowds
Yes and how many times can a person sleep on stones
Before they realise that it's so cold on their bones
Plus alien implants in my head - which can detect x-rays and create a false
image so the only way to verify my story is to cut open my skull ....
Plus ... mate ... "I sometimes think there are invisble aliens walking
along beside me and communicating telepathically with my mind.
Then Phil! (Cinemania, Omnipedia, Dogz, Python & WAVS, Pub 97, BBS, printer?
pinball?, sound?, and stax more to do .... oh plus! LONG conversat after "bbq" - boy!
aliens and praying to be abducted, plus the psych system and medication horror stories
plus stax I can't remember ... collapse of civilisations in past and maybe mill bug
will do the same ... plus conspiracies, delusions - the usual! I do prefer whackos!
... plus sci fi movies and Cuckoos Nest etc .... ) and spontaneous BURSTS return !!
- "People ask me to blow them down, and I blow them down away from down, People ask
me to cure the world, And I blow it down from the town or I joke away from the
downward town .......and stax I never wrote down ...... oh well.... People ask me
about the SCRADDLE-RADDLE-ROIMINGS And I say yes they travel in fragile mornings....
plus "My entire life is guided by the voices in my head."
And as ALWAYS! It never ends .... Last Adrian before his hols - but
hardly laid back! Stax!! One hour! - "It depends" - well it does! -
on personality types and bad vibes etc ... & feeling you're on a
totally different ( from those around you ... god ... Yeah he asked
specific questions like "how would you feel if " or "what would you
do if " - such as if someone is too friendly, too aggressive, too
much supervision, too little, if you made a mistake, if you got blamed
and was not at fault, overtime, if job boring, deadlines, etc , ....
Yeah got us onto issue of convincing yourself something (or anything!)
is important .. even parents & "contribute to society" & their heads
are obviously in a totally different place from mine so what's the
point of even discussing it ... & seeing 15 sides to every argument ...
I reckon you can only be in a n argument if you know something for
certain - or rather YOU THINK YOU KNOW IT FRO CERTAIN
Stax - who'd you prefer to work with - or who'd you find most difficult -
men! Esp young, when think you know it all plus seeing family & Leonard
less often ... Yeah you look at my answers and you'd say God, mate
you're so fussy no job situation will fail to irritate me to some
extent! Then again livin in a society this absurd is a constant irritation!!
Plus what if there was something you thought unreasonable - would
depend if it was something I could change or just have to tolerate ...
NEVER been any good at confrontations at all ... SICK leave!!?? And
policy - could ask at interview ... Pension - $50 per week is ok,
then lose 50cents for every dollar so $100 would mean lose 25 so
still 75 better off .... Plus me and rules and you accept that that
is what you are paid for and simply ask if it's worht the aggravation -
which is a LOT tougher choice if you have to work and/or aint in
a position to be fussy ...
Plus sparks yes, you guessed it ... and poems - People ask me about
the stars in the sky, People try to scare me with their rusty knives,
So I smash their skulls and throm them into bee hives yeah SING that
at work and noone will bother you!!! ... plus more added to (now)
epic "Psychosis" plus net and freedrive and I was right! Melbpc hardware
failure! Plus now Jane!! "How much time will you need with me" -
oh boy ... hmm plus dynamite fractal extreme!! Even a reinstall
of w95 fails to give back functionality? Shoulda removed all files ??
reformat ?? new pc ?? download another ?? hmm ...
It keeps coming! (it always does!!) .... Boy! Teaching - "It would
be nice to have a MANUAL cos I'm hardly an expert. I've barely scratched
the surface of what it can do" Robert has zero feel for it at all
I nearly lost it! ?? Jane the exact opposite wrote nothing ! I need
notes for myself too ... see a txt file of tips for Pub and do captures?
But mine is different version! Hmm .... Yeah even some basics like
opening or saving to floppy, text manipulation etc ... Plus reformat!
Plus Dad's upgrade !!! plus attachments ?? at mailusa & email.com ??
size issue ??? hmm .... Plus frac xtreme wil be interesting on his
faster pc & Leonard? And argh! Still aint grabbed Creepy or Snowdrift...
or done my poems! WILLLL we use Newsletter wizards ?? I need manual
myself cos mine is 97 which aint as good (well, you could always
lend me the CD to install 98 on my PC !!)
Oh I am hopeless! I never "Let things go" and endlessly rehearse!
Oh well ... already anticipateing negative reports on my teaching
abils - "No, that's fine. I never claimed to be an expert teacher ....
Sometimes it's hard to convey what's in your head to someone else
in a way they can understand" sure! well .... "I tend to be better
at specifics like how do you do this or that rather than OK, show
me what it can do" ... BEST IS LET THEM USE IT AND SEE WHAT THEY'
RE DOING WRONG ? .... Plus more addits to "Psychosis" - My choice
is the choice of lifetimes, Your choice is the choice of new crimes &
People ask me about the detrimental phrase, I say words can confuse
in so many ways.
Then argh! It drove me nuts! Would exit and re-enter! "w95" appeared
only once in autoexec and win.com did not exist - ah!! Of course!
Restoring backups had placed win.bat in c:\batch directory! Obvious!!
Oh these are getting so messy - some updates go into txt some into
htm some into
Zips ... argh ... oh well ....one day I might organise myself - maybe!
xxxx Adrian! God I get nervy! and incoherent!.txt
Boy! well first it's heavy rain for first time in ages
Omen ?? ...
Then - god I DO tend to ramble near incoherent when nervy!
Covered Newsletter and poesm and Mahjong & sports & what type
& level of support & drawing attention to yourself
& personality types & kids & travel & computers & internet
[Plus Mum mentioned - in 25 min call! about new TV & Lounge & video &
upgrade etc etc .. - she mentioned what a shame I can't use my knowledge
& abils .... I'm tempted to say Yeah what a shame! what a shame someone
like ME has to live in an absurd world like THIS!! .... but that may
not go down toooo well ..... NOT to mention the fact that I AM uncomfortable
with certain people & certain situations & that CAN trigger....
Anyway .... oh plus THE biggie! HOW do you describe Schizophrenia to
someone with NO knowledge of it (apart from the fact I am FAR from convinced
the conventional view is accurate!) ... hmmm....
**** Plus CLOTHES if interview!!! ****
.... yeah ! I do say some weird stuff when on edge ... hmm....
Maybe that's why I prefer psychos! ....
xxxx Ah! VOG fudge it!.txt
All it needs is email address - and Looksmart doesn't ask
for email address so in theory could be anyone! Like Di ??
Ok it is in profile but still no need to pay BUT people like
Marinka wouldnt ... mate .... well you could tell her .....
xxxx Alien!.txt
For fortune city - mate ! would it not be better to be inconspicuous ??
I was born in an alien laboratory and that is why I'm insane. If
you don't believe me, just ask yourself why else would anyone lose
their mind. It must be the miniature robot aliens that live in their head.
Sometimes another group of psychotic aliens break into my house
and they love to stick candles up my arse. They tell me I'm their
favourite madman and they put an old onion on my head for luck.
Then they teach me all their magnetic telepathic abilities so i
can communicate with all the dead psychotic aliens from every planet.
I just love the way they threaten me with their huge knives.
xxxx Attachments !!!.txt
No this is NOT some Buddhist or tibetan discussion .....
You can attach all sorts of files - I try it with mira and works
BUT puts it as image in the letter .... hmmm ....
1. Would it work with zips ?????
2. AH!!!! attach poems or whatever in HTM format!!!!!!!! yeah - better
than ftp !!
3. HTM - send to Phil etc .... start trek .... hmm .....
(or marinka - send photo - mate ...... )
xxxx Before I reformat! for fractal extreme! mate !!.txt
- Boot disks & scandisk, fdisk, drivers etc
- Partition tools ??
- pkunzip
- PC User encypt but ONLY most recent ??
- convert? MOV to AVI off Omnipedia ?? to upload encrypt ??
- datecrack & captures? & fiddles (TFW, MJBB, PUB97, Hmmm....)
- Open sdallen at Fortune city for a lotta mail ??
- upload? breifly to fortune city as htm but encrypt ??
- hmmm ....
*** oh so a couple of weeks or less I realise!!! dummmo!!!!!
can FORMAT C:
transfer zips to C
then FORMAT D:
ARGH!!!
xxxx CLEVER!.TXT
Yeah - well I can seeeee why people go to zip drives apart from the capacity!
OOOOH faulty floppies shit me! even formating and scan sometimes cannot recue
you! .... ah! I thought how do ya check a JPG file without 2 laborious
options! 1. copy it back off floppy and see if it opens in Photoed or
2, Open off floppy which in 300k file is dead slow!
Ah ...... zip em up! and test the integrity of the zip archive! yep!!
Part 2
Now ... a few more clever things ....
(i) EXE off Leonard NOT only makes it permannet but in the Flinders install
makes it "Terry Allen" as registered owner! not Peter Waters!
(ii) Realising some of CAB are just fonts PLUS some of DLL files are same
as Word 97? Compatibilty and some are in Pub 97 so I reallly pruned
it down to fit on the 10 disks (along with fractal images & Flarium !)
(iii) Format C: then transfer zips from D then format d: obvious!!
xxxx Compiled Information!.txt
It was huge! just selected bits - 250 k was report from pub 98 install!?
xxxx Damn! Forgot Floppy! redo tips!.txt
off top of head ....
Text box, clipart, resize, bordeers, fill effects
Text manipulation as in wordprocess
File saving & Opening
Wizards - delete object, double click to edit
(single click to select, and then move or resize etc
Anythin else off the menus ? Tools etc spelling
Spell it out more? F7 for spelling BUT first have to select text frame
What else ??? Word Art a few icons - and CAN shade it in AFTER finish
the wordart click elsewhere then single click it
see fill.pub and others - instruct ?? saved ??
Library or NET - Manual WOULD be nice !!! hmm.... cos even I have just
scratched the surface of what it can do ......
Ah!! Format Painter - also spell out more accurately
And Text styles and Templates as well
Ah! just found out can FILL a clipart !! and other Format options ??
Shapes and rotate them and fill them ....
Can add borders to clipart too! and each CAN be a different size boy!
Margins, Tabs on ruler as in wordprocessor
***** As usual I never do anything by half measures .... captures??
well their screen is different version??
Define: single click, double, object and types and examples, dragging mouse
to select, moving mouse with button released, drop down arrow, frames, Toolbar
Menu Bar, Wizards ?? .... Take to FLINDERS !!! ....
Select text by Shift & cursor keys,
Yeah - from Robert - who has zero "feel" - even file basics like opening from
floppy and saving to floppy
Styles apply to entire paragraph
RIGHT click for edit or delete ??? check out !!!
FANCY up the dog and Indian & tips ?? .....
Format, Font gives acces to OUTLINE or double underline etc ....
OOOOOOOh I left floppy there (xfiles, y2k, poems ?? .... )
******** grab Creepy, Snowdrift - a bit early ?????
xxxx dead can dance.txt
@ALBUM: Spleen and Ideal
^ 4:00 De Profundus (Out Of The Depths Of Sorrow)
3:06 Ascension
3:17 Circumradiant Dawn
5:29 The Cardinal Sin
*^ 4:54 Mesmerism
*% 4:14 Enigma Of The Absolute
*& % 5:19 Advent
4:35 Avatar
*& % 4:14 Indoctrination (A Design For Living)
CD5 UK 4-A-D CAD512CD
& = In Progress
% = Finished
* = Lyrics in English
^ = Lyrics in unknown language
Bud:[I am not very familiar with the 5 virtues of the Bible. Let see
there is LOVE, CHASTITY, PRIDE, LUST, and ENVY. No, that's the
five deadly virtues, isn't it.
But anyway, the song speaks of four virtues. I think there are
five somewhere in the Bible, but I can't find them. Four bold
virtues is what we're looking for. Here is the song as is:
(Spleen & Ideal)
@SONG: ADVENT:
In the hour of darkness
when our worlds collide
assailed by madness
that has plagued our lives,
On the point of departure
on the eve of despair
the recourse to reason
seems to make no sense at all!
Refrain:
The light of hope
shines in your eyes.
Dementia has gone
purged from inside.
Throughout our wand'rings
in a land of lies
we fell from God's grace
into a sea of storms.
In the self-relevation
celebration of love
these bold four virtues
we seem to've left behind.
Refrain
Refrain
Lay bare your heart
induce the will of love
to restore what little faith
that you may have lost.
As morning brings re-birth
a new day will dawn
to ease our troubled minds.
Turn away on your side
and dream of days to come...
@SONG: ENIGMA OF THE ABSOLUTE
Saloman hung down her head
Laid bare her heart for the world to see
She craved for intimacy
Through the darkened doors
Her aspect veiled with indecision
Gazed out to sea
She craved lucidity
Cast adrift from past relationships in her life
Hoisted up the ideal
This was her saving grace
Sea's of rage
That once assailed her concern for the truth
Had past her by
And left her high and dry
In her saviors arms
In her saviors arms
In her saviors arms
Across the sea lies the fountain of renewal
Where you will see
The whole cause of your loneliness
Can be measured in dreams
That transcend all these lies
and I wish and I pray
That there may come a day for a saviors arms
for a saviors arms
for a saviors arms
for a saviors arms
@SONG: A DESIGN FOR LIVING:
In times of great vexation
when one must choose between what's right and wrong
freedom, so they say,
amounts to but the choices you have made!
Through all the arbitrary
rationale concerning liberty,
freedom, I must say,
exists within unconditioned minds!
Reason...
has come of age.
How can you be satisfied
with things the way they are
when all that surrounds us now
and so much more
remains inside
the keeper's dark embrace?
The insatiable
thirst for power has made
idols out of mortals
gods into clay
soldiers into heros
children into slaves!
All damned
desires
their hopes betrayed.
Who will suffer the laws,
that State can decide your
child's education,
unless you pay the price?
Refrain:
Who will suffer their laws?
Who will suffer their minds?
Who will suffer their words?
Who will suffer their designs?
@ALBUM: Within The Realm Of A Dying Sun
*% 5:08 Anywhere Out Of The World
@ 3:30 Windfall
*& 4:14 In The Wake Of Adversity
*& 6:16 Xavier
^ 2:06 Dawn Of The Iconoclast
^ 6:58 Cantara
^L 5:55 Summoning Of The Muse
^ 6:36 Persephone (The Gathering Of Flowers)
CD5 UK 4-A-D CAD705CD
& = In Progress
% = Finished
* = Lyrics in English
^ = Lyrics in unknown language
L = Lyrics in Latin, most likely
@SONG: ANYWHERE OUT OF THE WORLD:
We scaled
the face of reason
to find
at least one sign
that would reveal
the true dimensions
of life...
lest we forget.
And maybe it's easier to withdraw from life,
with all of its misery and wretched lies,
away from harm.
We lay
by cool, still waters
and gazed
into the sun.
And like the moth's
great imperfection,
succumbed
to her fatal charm.
And maybe it's me who dreams unrequited love,
the victim of fools who watch
and stand in line away from harm!
In our vain pursuit
of life for one's own end
will this crooked path
ever cease to end?
@SONG: IN THE WAKE OF ADVERSITY
Dave: [I don't think it's Sacred Priests, doesn't sound right]
Bud: [ It does fit the song's meaning, if not the precise sound
though. Pious priests, with their "narrow ways," wouldn't
care at all to argue with you or I because they know they
are right. And of course, the angels they pretend to
know so much about, in reality, favour "us". But, these
priests cannot see the inner man.
But the song begins with the sound, "ey" or "hey". Comical.
What do you think?
Sacred priests don't cry....(?)
[____-tries] don't cry
they've no reason to argue
at all
they don't realise
that the angels surround you with light
they don't understand
their narrow ways defeat them where they stand
they don't realise
you hide the sadness beneath a painted smile.
Ignorance,
that line of fools steers a wayward path
and set the course upon which we sing into the night of uncertainty.
Following the stars
that make their way across the sky
valuing the love
that land brings to our eyes
We sail...
@SONG: XAVIER
Fair Roseanna,
your vagrancy's a familiar tale
fraught with danger,
the lives you led were judged for fame
hatred enfolds us,
inculpates the minds with it's heresy
laymen enfold us,
clemency arrives to set you free!
Fate...
Although Xavier has prayed
that life-giving waters may rain
down on the souls of men
to cure them of their pain.
These were the sins of Xavier's past
hung like jewels in the forest of veils.
Deep in the heart where the mysteries emerge
Eve bears the stigma of original sin
freedom so high when we all are bound by laws
etched in the scheme of nature's own hand
unseen by those who fail in their pursuit of fate.
Although Xavier has prayed
that life-giving waters may rain
down on the souls of men
to cure them of their ways
And as the night turns into day
oh the sun, the moon, wish away
although your nightmares come home to stay
Xavier's love lies in chains
These were the sins of Xavier's past
hung like jewels in the forest of veils
Dead Can Dance
@ALBUM: Into The Labyrinth
17.1.95
(transcribed from booklet by ISC [email protected])
1. Yulunga (spirit dance)
2. The Ubiquitous Mr Lovegrove
3. The Wind that Shakes the Barley
4. The Carnival is Over
5. Ariadne
6. Saldek
7. Towards the Within
8. Tell Me About the Forest
(you once called home)
9. The Spider's Stratagem
10. Emmeleia
11. How Fortunate the Man with None
@SONG: The Ubiquitous mr Lovegrove
I thought that you knew it all
Well you've seen it ten times before.
I thought that you had it down
With both your feet on the ground.
I love slow ... slow but deep.
Feigned affections wash over me.
Dream on my dear
And renounce temporal obligations.
Dream on my dear
It's a sleep from which you may not awaken.
You build me up then you knock me down.
You play the fool while I play the clown.
We keep time to the beat of an old slave drum.
You raise my hopes then you raise the odds
You tell me that I dream too much
Now I'm serving time in disillusionment.
I don't believe you anymore ... I don't believe you.
I thought that I knew it all
I'd seen all the signs before.
I thought that you were the one
In darkness my heart was won.
You build me up then you knock me down.
You play the fool while I play the clown.
We keep time to the beat of an old slave drum.
You raise my hopes then you raise the odds
You tell me that I dream too much
Now I'm serving time in a domestic graveyard.
I don't believe you anymore ... I don't believe you.
Never let it be said I was untrue
I never found a home inside of you.
Never let it be said I was untrue
I gave you all my time.
@SONG: The Wind that Shakes the Barley
I sat within the valley green
I sat me with my true love.
My sad heart strove the two between
The old love and the new love.
The old for her the new
That made me think on Ireland dearly.
While soft the wind blew down the glade
and shook the golden barley.
T'was hard the woeful words to frame
To break the ties that bound us.
But harder still to bear the shame
of foreign chains around us.
And so I said the mountain glen
I'll meet at morning early.
And I'll join the bold united men
While soft winds shook the barley.
T'was sad I kissed away her tears
My fond arm round her flinging.
When a foe, man's shot burst on our ears
>From out the wild woods ringing.
A bullet pierced my true love's side
In live's young spring so early.
And on my breast in blood she died
While soft winds shook the barley.
But blood for blood without remorse
I've ta'en at oulart hollow.
I've lain my true love's clay like corpse
Where I full soon must follow.
Around her grave I've wandered drear
Noon, night, and morning early.
With breaking heart when e'er I hear
The wind that shakes the barley.
@SONG: The Carnival is Over
Outside
The storm clouds gathering,
Moved silently along the dusty boulevard.
Where flowers turning crane their fragile necks
So they can in turn
Reach up and kiss the sky.
They are driven by a strange desire
Unseen by the human eye
Someone is calling.
I remember when you held my hand
In the park we would play when the circus came to town.
Look! Over here.
Outside
The circus gathering
Moved silently along the rainswept boulevard.
The procession moved on the shouting is over
The fabulous freaks are leaving town.
They are driven by a strange desire
Unseen by the human eye.
The carnival is over
We sat and watched
As the moon rose again
For the very first time.
@SONG: Tell Me About the Forest
(you once called home)
Farewell now my sister
Up ahead there lies your road
And your conscience walks beside you
It's the best friend you will ever know
And the past is now your future
It bears witness to your soul
Make sure that the love you offer up
Does not fall on barren soil.
For the wind cries of late
In the whispering grass.
Our way of life is held
In the spinning wheels of chance.
I believe in the ways of an older law
When we used to dance to a different drum
And we are changing our ways
Yes we are taking different roads
Tell me more about the forest
That you once called home.
For the wind cries of late
In the whispering leaves
And the sun will turn to waste
The heavens we build above.
Father teach your children
To treat our mother well
If we give her back her diamonds
She will offer up her pearl.
But I'm not bitter no I'm surviving
To face the world, to raise the future.
So why don't you tell me, come on and tell me
About the world you left behind.
Come on and tell me.
@SONG: How Fortunate the Man with None
You saw sagacious Solomon
You know what came of him,
To him complexities seemed plain.
He cursed the hour that gave birth to him
And saw that everything was vain.
How great and wise was Solomon.
The world however did not wait
But soon observed what followed on.
It's wisdom that had brought him to this state.
How fortunate the man with none.
You saw courageous Caesar next
You know what he became.
They deified him in his life
Then had him murdered just the same.
And as they raised the fatal knife
How loud he cried: you too my son!
The world however did not wait
But soon observed what followed on.
It's courage that had brought him to that state.
How fortunate the man with none.
You heard of honest Socrates
The man who never lied:
They weren't so grateful as you'd think
Instead the rulers fixed to have him tried
And handed him the poisoned drink.
How honest was the people's noble son.
The world however did not wait
But soon observed what followed on.
It's honesty that brought him to that state.
How fortunate the man with none.
Here you can see respectable folk
Keeping to God's own laws.
So far he hasn't taken heed.
You who sit safe and warm indoors
Help to relieve our bitter need.
How virtuously we had begun.
The world however did not wait
But soon observed what followed on.
It's fear of god that brought us to that state.
How fortunate the man with none.
performed by Lisa Gerrard & Brendan Perry
engineered and produced by Brendan Perry at Quivvy Church
4-A-D, P.O. BOX 461599, Los Angeles, CA 90046-9599.
(c) 1993
Written by Dead Can Dance
except
"The Wind that Shakes the Baley"
words and music: Dr. Robert Dwyer Joyce
"How Fortunate the Man with None"
music: Dead Can Dance
words: Bertold Brecht (Translation John Willet)
(send a mail and you'll get the original german text)
ISC file date vom 22.11.1993 (in Alpena, Michigan, USA)
From [email protected] Apr 21 23:08:11 1995
Date: Fri, 21 Apr 1995 23:54:00 -0400
From: [email protected]
To: alex , scott ,
[email protected], vishnu
Subject: Toward The Within (v 1.0)
Hello everyone, this is my first attempt at deciphering Toward The
Within. I've only messed around with the songs that have English parts, I'll
leave the Indian stuff to Vishnu. I do hope you fare better than I with
"American Dreaming" and "Desert Song". Either send suggestions to me or
around to everyone. Best of luck.
@Rakim/Sinful Garden
(Indian)
favored son
turn in the garden
shades of one
sins forgotten
favored signs to find hope
in the rhymes of life
favored rhymes to find hope
in the sands of life
favored son
fence in your heart
severed son
sins forgotten
@ Desert Song (Desert Sun)
(I don't even want to hazard a guess)
@ The Wind That Shakes The Barley
(see Into The Labyrinth insert)
@ I Am Stretched On Your Grave (traditional verse--King/F O'Connor)
I am stretched on your grave
and will lie there forever
if your hands were in mine
I'd be sure we'd not sever
my apple tree my brightness
it's time we were together
for I smell of the earth
and am worn by the weather
when my family thinks
that I'm safe in my bed
from night until morning
I am stretched at your head
calling out to the air
with tears both hot and wild
my grief for the girl
that I loved as a child
(do you remember
the night we were lost
in the shade of the blackthorn
and the chill of the frost
thanks be to Jesus
we did what was right
and your maidenhood still
is your pillar of light)
the priests and the friars
approach me in dread
because I still love you
my love and you're dead
I still would be your shelter
through rain and through storm
and with you in your cold grave
I cannot sleep warm
so I'm stretched on your grave
and will lie there forever
if you hands were in mind
I'd be sure we'd not sever
my apple tree my brightness
it's time we were together
for I smell of the earth
and am worn by the weather
@ I Can See Now (Woman)
you ever loved a woman who made you feel tall?
you ever loved a man who made you feel small?
if you were a sailor
I'd raise the anchor
to sail the sea
in search of you and me
and god
conscious currents to break our fragile boats
and both the innocent and the damned
are swallowed up in his wake
if you were a huntress
I'd be your bow
for your silver arrows
to seek out his heart
you ever loved a woman who made you feel tall?
you ever loved a man who made you feel small?
who are you to complain
for lack of understanding?
we are all created equal
in just one thing along: Alone
and your thoughts then pursue you through your life
they'll take you outwards to the dark edge of time
and there's nothing more dangerous
than a man with nothing to lose; nothing to fear
and nothing to prove...
@ American Dreaming (Watch Over Me)
I need my conscience to keep watch over me
to protect me from myself
so I can wear honesty like a crown on my head
when I walk into the promised land
we've been too long american dreaming
I think we've all lost the way
(?fear long?) somnambulistic maniacal in the dark
I'm in love with an american girl
well, she is my best friend
I love her surreptitious smile
that hides the pain within her
and we'll go dancing in her rings of laughter
that (?neither long?) by the shores
(that's all the further I can get without getting just plain silly)
@ Don't Fade Away
don't fade away
my brown eyed girl
come walk with me
I'll fill your heart with joy
and we'll dance
through our isolation
seeking solace in the wisdom we bestow
turning thoughts to the here and ever after
consuming fears in our fiery halos
say what you mean
mean what you say
I've heard that innocence
has led us all astray
but don't let them make you and break you
the world is filled with their broken empty dreams
silence is their only virtue
locked away inside their silent screams
but for now...
let us dance away
this starry night
filled with the glow or fiery stars
and with the dawn
our son will rise
bringing a symphony of birthright
don't bring me down now
let me stay here awhile
you life's too short
let me bathe here in your smile
I'm transcending
the fall from the garden
...goodnight.
There you have it. Some of the conclusions I came to were aided by
other recordings and by watching the film. Let me know what you think.
-william
xxxx December 4 !!.txt
zip htm for Flinders & for Leonard
Newsletter ideas - boy!
- Our House & Xmas
- Keeping Cool
- Hey! Bath Bombs!!!
- Cat on blackboard ?? & Karly reply !!?? & Bill for Michelle !
- Background images ?? read up & Templates ??
Weird but! 11 meg would be nice !!!! encrypt zips ???
Solomon Snyder & Library of Congress ??
xxxx December 30 1998 !!.txt
Marinka - email!
Tourneys
Leshiy moves ?? - verify
............................ & email ??? is it me ?? probly!
MIRA !! GIA !!!! pOSH ... MATE ....
ATTACHMENTS ?? SEND TO SELF ?? EXCITE ??
HAPPYPUPPY TATTY ....
xxxx DETAILS!.TXT
Phew ... finallllly got it going okay.....
[First day was after Frank! & Ian Stewart book! & rewrite of
rucksack notebk! & day before Rosie then final Marily hen final Newsletter
for a while..... then it's xmas - and expiry of tafe card -probly NOT
needed now]
Anyway ooooh I was tearing hair out! FIRST I was a loony for not plugging
phone line in or turn modem on! But even then! no joy! had to go via
Dial Up Networking AND change the ph no !!!! THEN open Netcape! weeeird!!
Feb 1999 -see bottom - again hair-tearing time!!!!!!!!! incentive ??
Ph nos are - 96864506 works!
other 2 dont connect - weellll I tried only the 99349400
and not the 86265000 - says "only PAP protocol" ?? so what use
ARE they ????
I am grjallen (lowercase) & REBKLP (caps)
instructs are in weellll I'll paste in here & the setup prog is
MPCISM.ZIP ..... can download it so why keep it? besides it don't work!!
****** More points !!!
I rename java directory cos some stall it and crash it
- ** INCENTIVE MATE! ** !!!
DO BOOKMARKS and organise .....
Lingerie - oh yeah! & XXX
Library & TAFE home pages ??
**** Stay clear of busy times ??? I first logged on around 4 or 5 PM !!
... it's useable but some like porn ?? very slow
*** and opens up 2 sites at once ?? TAFE also seems to do that
which I solved by ctrl-esc & "end task" /???? mate - ask!!!!
Okay here's the step by step ...... is also at bbs I'd imagine!!!
To set up a separate icon, it can be done quite simply for
Windows 95/98:
[ Note: The instructions given here are for the Melb PC 56K
Internet line, however the same method can be used to create a
new dialler icon for other services by changing only the phone
number, and using a suitable title to match, eg:
"Melb PC Standard Internet" with 9686 4506
"Melb PC 56K V.90 Internet" with 8626 5000
and "Melb PC Intranet Service" with 9690 5644 ]
The procedure in detail is:
1. Click open "My Computer" icon.
2. Click open "Dial-Up Networking" icon.
3. Click open "Make New Connection" icon.
4. In the top highlighted window, name the new connection
"Melb PC 56K Internet"
Select another modem if another is to be used.
5. Click Next, and enter the phone number "99349400"
[ you can ignore the Area and Country codes ]
6. Click Next, and on the next screen click Finish
This is the end of the first stage.
7. Returning to the "Dial-Up Networking" window, you will
see the new icon for "Melb PC 56K Internet" appear.
8. Highlight this new "Melb PC 56K Internet" icon with a
single mouse-click.
9. Use the right mouse-button, highlight and click Properties
10. In the General tab, remove the tick against Country Code.
11. In the Server Type tab, remove all ticks except TCP/IP
at the bottom.
12. On the same page, click the TCP/IP Settings button.
13. On this page:
a. click "Server assigned IP address" (at the top)
b. click "Specify name server address" (the fourth spot)
(i) "Primary DNS" - enter 203.12.152.1
(ii) "Secondary DNS" - enter 203.12.152.2
c. Leave ticks in the bottom two squares, and click OK.
14. Returning back to the previous page, click OK.
The new dialler is now complete and ready to use, however there
is an additional step to move it to your desktop for ease of use.
15. Highlight the new "Melb PC 56K Internet" icon with a
single mouse-click.
16. Use the mouse right-button, and highlight Create Shortcut.
17. In response to the Shortcut message, click Yes, and the
new shortcut icon will appear on your desktop.
18. On the desktop, highlight the new icon with a single
mouse-click, use the mouse right-button, and hightlight
Rename. For simplicity delete the words "Shortcut to"
leaving the remainder of the name intact.
This completes the installation of a new dialling icon, and logins
can be started by simply clicking on this new Icon.
****** now Feb 99 - God almighty !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All starts due to reading Melbpc allows 8 meg - but HOW do you access it ??
welll.... I read up and where are the Menu options in Netscape
to set up the fuckin mail ??????????????
So being a bit impulsive I wipe it and oh lovely MSIE can grab mail
and attachments .... but as for ANYTHING else it is as lame as a room
full of priests!!!!!! I need a reformat ? or a new pc ?? or more memory ??
So reinstall Netscape ... argh!!! well reallllly I only need to grab the mail
if it becomes necessary to USE the attached files as they are basically
backups .... hmmmm.....
How to delete ?? or just add updates ?? cos already 250k sent as a test
hmmmm.....
Oh plus - these details for setting up mail -
Outgoing smtp server is smtp.melbpc.org.au
Incoming POP3 server is popa.melbpc.org.au
and you enter your username grjallen and REBKLP
***************
xxxx Email and fiddles details & Passwords!.txt
Passwords :
goujon for freeservers
elidia for hotmail
REBKLP for MelbPC
geoall & nietzsche for email.com
usa.com is geoallen & goujon
grjalle & niet for freedrive ??
(Geoplanet? sent email to excite)
Excite is niet but too unreliable!
Yahoo - mate how many do you ......
AH !!!!!! make myself Stephen!!! yeah !!!
It's amazing there are so many!!
31.12.98 and next day -
Sent from Hot to email.com a file with 2 attached but are both there ??
*** 500 k limit at a couple!!
sent a couple of text attach to hotmail from excite when I thought
could only attach txt or htm or pics ? Mira too....
Sent tips to hotmail from usa.com ?? as htm ??
also ftp it to the freeservers - weeeeird that I can't "SEEE" any files
via cuteftp ? Find syntax ? for a link ? password? well ask !!!
xxxx email!!.txt
Read Message
RELATED:
Dictionary
Thesaurus
In-Box
From: James Save Address Block Sender
To: [email protected]
Subject: logging in
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 1999 13:27:45 -0600
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This indeed is not a normal issue. Who is your ISP?
Unfortunately we do not allow ftp into FreeDrive as it is an advertiser
supported service, therefore we need our advertisers "billboards" to be
seen. With "ftp� there is no way, currently, to force a frame set thus
no financial gain to support the cost of the space.
Hope that explanation helps!
Let me know,
James
www.freedrive.com
note: can you please reply with all the original text so that we can
track the progress of the issue and all its relevant information. This
will help speed up the service process and get you back on track
quickly.
Hi there, My name is Geoff Allen
and I
recently opened a freedrive
account. I
have had great
difficulty
using the upload facility -
I nearly
always get the message
about
"illegal operation" and
Netscape
shuts down. This has
persisted
even after I reinstalled
Netscape and
even through
Internet
Explorer and I also
reinstalled
Windows 95 all to no
avail. And
yes, I do have Java
enabled and
use 4.05 version of
Netscape
(and tried version 3.04
too) Is this
a common
experience?
Also, is there a way
to FTP the
file via a program like
CuteFTP
which I have used
without any
problems to access
other sites?
If so, what would be
the FTP
address of my freedrive?
Thanks for
your service
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RELATED:
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From: James Save Address Block Sender
To: Geoff Allen
Subject: Re: Uploading to FreeDrive
Date: Fri, 15 Jan 1999 12:38:04 -0600
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Could you combine this with the other email I sent.
Let me know,
James
www.freedrive.com
note: can you please reply with all the original text so that we can track
the progress of the issue and all its relevant information. This will help
speed up the service process and get you back on track quickly.
Geoff Allen wrote:
> Hi
>
> I recently sent you an email about problems uploading to Freedrive. My
> name is Geoff Allen (user name grjalle). You asked who my ISP is - they
> are to be found at http://hww.melbpc.org.au which is the Melbourne PC
> User Group.
>
> Overall I have had very few problems browsing and downloading files via
> Netscape 4.05 but I keep getting "illegal operation" when I try to
> upload to Freedrive and Netscape usually shuts itself down. Apart from
> one session where I did multiple uploads without incident. All very
> puzzling! If ONLY I could work out why is went smoothly in that session
> I'd be fine.
>
> I suppose I'll just keep trying and see what happens
>
> Thanks again
>
> ______________________________________________________
> Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
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xxxx Final Marilyn!.txt
Yeah - close my file at crs!
Discussed the journey ( of a thousand miles)
& how rare it is to survive on no pills!
& nice to have options - now I have to make priorities!
cos want some contact with Newsletter but move on ... hmm.....
Plus I've never got up so early ...
plus HUGE value from student card!!! That I never even paid for!
..... hmm...
Plus almost worth enrol & not even show up!
Plus I never used to seek or accept help/support....
Everybody wnats to believe that twelve is a number
But twelve is my name and my magic weapon
Plu Farside for Dad off Web & Escher & Titanic .....
xxxx Fractal mind.txt
http://www.altavista.yellowpages.com.au/ for aussie option - also
see library home page.
http://www.quokka.casey.vic.edu.au/admin/colin/student/menu.htm
http://www.WorldOfEscher.com/gallery/ - nice selection
.... do a htm of these additional eschers.... print ??.....
This article submitted by John Landau on 24/10/97.
Email:
Literally, the fractal mind. A logos that affirms multiplicity and
the occupation of all possible points. The schizophrenic is like
the electron : if we predict the position, we cannot predict the
velocity ; if we predict the velocity, we cannot predict the position.
Like a nomad travelling through smooth space, the schizophrenic,
like the electron in an electron cloud, may appear anywhere within
the field, occuping all positions while singularly fluctuating between
positions aleatorily. Schizophrenia is a Cageian simultaneity of
happenings : the nose runs, the mouth babbles, the hands fiddle,
the eyes roll, the feet shuffle, the diaphragm laughs or hiccups,
the anus fars, the Eucalyptus adds its scent to the moment, the moon
at that angle in the sky ... Schizophrenia is a process of compiling
lists and letting go of syntax. Social schizophrenia is a simultaneity
of spontaneities, a flux of ad-hoc organizings of activity, a surrealist
engagement of "collective self-management" as the transtruction [
construction - deconstruction process] of dissipative structures.
All of this is distinguished from clinical schizophrenia, which is
alienated, repressed schizophrenia isolated from desiring-production
and collective creativity. Liberated schizophrenia is schizophrenia
that has come into its own as an Escherian, topological celebration
of fractal generativity!
References:
xxxx FTP!.TXT
9) How do I use FTP to transfer my files?
First of all you need an FTP program such as Cute_FTP or Fetch.
If you do not have one you can get them for free from Shareware.com.
If you have the program you must use the following details:
HOSTNAME - ftp.fortunecity.com
USERNAME/ID - your FortuneCity USERNAME
PASSWORD - your FortuneCity PASSWORD
You will be dropped directly into your folder, where you can upload,
download, delete and rename your files. You can also create subdirectories.
xxxx God!!! Final Di for 1998! Jesus!!.txt
Oh my! what didn't we cover!!!!!!!!!!! .......
The eternal (no pun) philosophical questions like evil, free will, fairness,
WHY ... a million WHY's ... & throw in eternity & how does God know
he'll live forever & Throw in aliens & why do some people become
mass murderers & reincarnation & have we been together before & sister
could have been your husband etc ... & how you instantly CONNECT
with some people yet others you equally quickly dislike.....
And SHE has several of the same unanswerable conundrums (well, as
I said, these are not exactly NEW questions because there is no definitive
answer ... ) & why any suffering at all or why create this phase
at all & if he knows in advance (afterward I think well, maybe he
thought he'd do it in such a way that even he doesn't really know -
which is bloody marvellous if you're on the receiving end of the
chance element ....
Plus internet whackos ... plus the BIGGGIE - if I can go so far off
the deep end from a better than avergae background .... Plus even
if there is some "answer" there's no guarantee you'll like it ....
plus a million other things - if only Micro then again .... plus
she did ask the BIGGIE I rarely allow myself to ask - do you think
it's even possible or would all this "stuff" get in the way ... hmmm....
Plus if religion (& Tibet Book of Dead) is just bullshit ... well,
someomne has some pretty amazing imagination! ... AFTER .... yep,
does spark bursts ... and I inevitably replay and over analyse ..
I should be the last person to ASSUME that something is "impossible"
or "highly unlikely" ?? ... plus maybe my mind IS being reprogrammed
by aliens to remove all the garbage society puts there (oh, we even
covered Catholic school & me losing faith - if I ever actually had
it - and pretending to go to Mass ... hmmmm .. ) and then the aliens
will abduct me to a wonderland beyond my expectation - show her that!!
well, ONE question would be (oh, we also covered Laing & medication &
allowing the process to run its course) WHY in God's name are you
in rehab! IF you were convinced (and of course, I never will be one
way or the other!) ... hmm... maybe we were lovers in a past life ???
show her that !!!
Oh, plus who built pyramids and UFO diaries & Chariots of the Gods ...
mate .... even gave her a XMAS card ... then Deb & I'll be over to
weed !! after Adrian!! on 30 degree day !!! .... so all in all an
amazing 10 days or so to top an outrageous year really
.... with the poems! the women! (Marilyn, Michelle, Caroline, Leesa,
Nicole, Rosie, Kathy .... that's the oldest reason in the book !!!
Plus! Blewett! 163* & 213* versus tourist and can't get a Test berth!
..
1174 a record for runs before christmas! but of course most of those
coming in Shield versus somewhat lesser bowlers? Then again it's
probly a tougher level than Tests agst the Poms !!
More Di recalled - yeah, on the one hand, why should you JUST accept
things simply because God says that is how things will be yet on
the other hand is there anything to be gained from beating your head
agst a wall or tearing yourself up when ultimately he'll do whatever
he pleases.....
Plus already a rework?? - a really open mind means I'm highly unlikley
to just dismiss any possibiliy but I'm also unlikely to fully embrace
it either because a major or minor variation in approach/method/choice
could be better ... argh ....
Plus a few more but that's more than enough to drive any man insnae
aews! ....
VERRRRY next day 8 am Adrian cancels! lucky! cos quite HOT weeding
etc at debs ....
....
then VOG - I'm hoooked! oooooh!!!! Ya have to press save! 3 of my
best ever!!! I go in & play 3 agst a 1300 ranked player and in the
first well I was gone but brilliant game and hit front in final move &
I jump to 1700 !!! then 2 more wins agst him! each one I was not
over confident - then beat another 1300 who'd been playin only 1
day and oh I reckon he had winning posit and din't finish me off!
Well he soon made up for that!!!!!!! 46-12 and he gets final 6 !!!!
boy !!!!
xxxx Idioto! Re-format can retain zips!.txt
Yeah loony!
FORMAT C:
(after zipping any "essentials" onto d:)
then transfer zips to C:
then FORMAT D:
Obvious .... oh well .....
xxxx Just your average day! Christ!!.txt
Rename this to one average day
Oh boy has xmas taken a toll ?? 2 consec 10 hrs in bed aews! the 2nd of which!
I dream I win thousands on a pokie in qld "5 Kings" ?? ooooh it seeemed real!
Then I obsessssss on all the old stuff like slaughter entire family as a final
break with all the bullshit - "You have to face the fact that human nature
has some very scary stuff - most people put a lid on the scary stuff and
become awfully dull! Maybe I'm one of those who cannot or WILL not put a lid
on it just to survive. .... and stax of others - when it hits it realllly
does seem like these ideas are being PUT there .. hmm.... then !!!
VOG othello (what DID I do before it and web !!!) .... 15 year old from US !!
... and 2 lucky wins I reckon! she had me! - see transcripts and chats!!
.... send email ?? ... mate ... well ..... there are places where a LOT more
stuff goes on ..... and tournaments - we're 17 hrs ahead ?? ......
Plus Test! England lose 2/4 and later 3/6 yet reach 270 .... we are a bit
up & down ..... one GUESSS who saves us (so far - don't speak too soon
cos our record batting 4th aint crash hot .....) .....
Will I go to pokies ?? what does it mean if ANY thing .... cos I'd be HARD
pressed to get to QLD pokies .... hmm... I do have those vouchers!!! ...
Email - I could ask what she's into and how so good at Othello at 15! when I
was 15 .... no such thing as PC or internet .... hmm ..... mate!
Oh it aint over by a LONG way!!!! Walk to dandy and as BAD as that vintage 1997
effort!!?? boy !!!! Try this! aews! - oh forget DVJS - I am a FREAK!! How can you
survive 5 mins in this ludicrous world being honest!! You people are SICKENING!
I wish I could extermnate every single living human being! You delude yourselves every
DAY and the most SICKENING part of that delusional process is producing children and
just EXPECT them to become as INSIPID as you are! The most INFURIATING part is there is
not a FUCKIN thing I can do about it! I prefer to believe you'rte not even real. And
maybe you arent. I wish I could wipe out all memory from my mind so I no longer even
remember that such pathetic creatures ever existed!
******* The ANGER in me is what creates PSYCOPATHS!!! *****
It is absurd to expect it can be subdued for any length of time !!!!
Even! Mate, put me to sleep! You have NO idea what you're dealing with! If you dont
- I'll come round to your house and eat your family !!! Forget medication! do the job
right!!! ....... show THAT to Di & parents etc .....
MAYBE powerful forces are conrolling my mind - the big question is what are they!
(Meanwhile S Waugh yet again does it !! battles hard (ironic?) as we chase 270 and at
8/250 it's even esp since we aint crash hot batting 4th!! .... 9th wicket sees 20, 30
.... 88 !!!!!!!! and you see the Poms deflate! a 70 run lead - not DECISIVE but nice!
and 2 wickets down before they hit front hmm .....)
Yeah! when it HITS you want to just confront parents and utttterly sever alllllllll
contact with a ludicrous pathetic society ("just call me fussy - but I reckon I
deserve a far better world than you stupid dreary sods are willing to tolerate -
I really feel sorry for you - it must be so hoorible to have to lie to yoursleves
every day! ..... sure mate! well ... it IS what I truly think !!! and they say to
be honest !!!!!
WHEN it hits NONE of the poems, "positive" ideas or tricks or even memories of better
times and even manic bursts makes ANY difference!!!! Scary !!!
Part of it ... oooh! would make SOME scary micro !!!! (to Parents) - "Don't feel too
bad - if this horrifies you - you won't have to wait long before I send 15 magnetic
cannibal aliens around to your place and they will cut you up and eat your blood !!
Mate ......... when you're feeling low just sing this happy song - "People ask me
about my life, So I kill them with a huge knife, People say my life is dull, I grab
an axe and smash their skulls" mate ........
xxxx List of CAB files of Pub 98 trial!.txt
This is via the extract command if I ever need to redownload any ??
Microsoft (R) Cabinet Extraction Tool - Version (16) 1.00.603.0 (08/14/97)
Copyright (c) Microsoft Corp 1994-1997. All rights reserved.
Cabinet Pub98TR1.cab
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 140,248 Fonts\ANTQUAB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 139,308 Fonts\ANTQUABI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 138,308 Fonts\ANTQUAI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 149,480 Fonts\arial.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 150,392 Fonts\arialb.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 169,660 Fonts\arialbi.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 149,632 Fonts\ariali.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 123,976 Fonts\ARIALN.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 127,720 Fonts\ARIALNB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 126,980 Fonts\ARIALNBI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 130,180 Fonts\ARIALNI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 103,992 Fonts\ARIBLK.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 145,388 Fonts\bkant.ttf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 150,412 Fonts\BKMNOS.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 143,368 Fonts\BOOKOSB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 150,900 Fonts\BOOKOSBI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 149,704 Fonts\BOOKOSI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 73,020 Fonts\CALIST.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 79,308 Fonts\CALISTB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 77,588 Fonts\CALISTBI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 52,152 Fonts\CALISTI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 152,584 Fonts\CENSCBK.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 63,040 Fonts\COMIC.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 55,892 Fonts\COMICBD.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 56,104 Fonts\COPRGTB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 57,232 Fonts\COPRGTL.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 178,152 Fonts\COUR.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 179,244 Fonts\COURB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 192,960 Fonts\COURI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 184,252 Fonts\COURZ.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 62,588 Fonts\CURLZ___.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 44,828 Fonts\ELEPHNT.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 40,800 Fonts\ENGR.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 51,432 Fonts\ERASBD.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 53,884 Fonts\ERASDEMI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 62,540 Fonts\ERASLGHT.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 54,700 Fonts\ERASMD.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 39,492 Fonts\FELIXTI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 54,216 Fonts\FORTE.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 141,768 Fonts\FRABK.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 158,892 Fonts\FRABKIT.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 134,240 Fonts\FRADM.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 108,164 Fonts\FRADMCN.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 125,624 Fonts\FRADMIT.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 130,720 Fonts\FRAHV.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 142,168 Fonts\FRAHVIT.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 123,272 Fonts\FRAMD.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 122,352 Fonts\FRAMDCN.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 139,768 Fonts\FRAMDIT.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 51,924 Fonts\FRSCRIPT.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 185,680 Fonts\GARA.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 186,744 Fonts\GARABD.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 176,916 Fonts\GARAIT.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 62,804 Fonts\GEORGIA.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 60,268 Fonts\GEORGIAB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 68,172 Fonts\GEORGIAI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 69,552 Fonts\GEORGIAZ.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 63,028 Fonts\GILBI___.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 60,172 Fonts\GILB____.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 54,376 Fonts\GILC____.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 61,292 Fonts\GILI____.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 66,788 Fonts\GILLUBCD.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 65,592 Fonts\GILSANUB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 59,704 Fonts\GIL_____.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 68,012 Fonts\GLECB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 78,968 Fonts\GLSNECB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 75,924 Fonts\GOUDOS.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 76,052 Fonts\GOUDOSB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 73,640 Fonts\GOUDOSI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 101,592 Fonts\HATTEN.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 126,056 Fonts\IMPACT.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 54,980 Fonts\IMPRISHA.TTF
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 54,328 Fonts\LSANSD.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 60,672 Fonts\LSANSDI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 59,644 Fonts\LSANSI.TTF
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 47,116 Fonts\LTYPEB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 48,864 Fonts\LTYPEBO.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 59,676 Fonts\LTYPEO.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 51,804 Fonts\MAIAN.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 47,996 Fonts\OCRAEXT.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 46,376 Fonts\PALSCRI.TTF
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 50,004 Fonts\ROCCB___.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 48,112 Fonts\ROCC____.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 65,144 Fonts\ROCK.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 63,016 Fonts\ROCKB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 48,084 Fonts\ROCKEB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 71,232 Fonts\ROCKI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 157,640 Fonts\SCHLBKB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 149,540 Fonts\SCHLBKBI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 152,116 Fonts\SCHLBKI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 49,804 Fonts\SCRIPTBL.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 63,936 Fonts\SYMBOL.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 105,312 Fonts\tahoma.ttf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 65,516 Fonts\TCBI____.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 67,140 Fonts\TCB_____.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 58,016 Fonts\TCCB____.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 66,752 Fonts\TCCEB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 60,316 Fonts\TCCM____.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 70,740 Fonts\TCMI____.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 69,824 Fonts\TCM_____.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 195,192 Fonts\times.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 188,384 Fonts\timesb.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 176,552 Fonts\timesbi.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 187,076 Fonts\timesi.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 57,428 Fonts\TREBUC.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 56,576 Fonts\TREBUCBD.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 55,828 Fonts\TREBUCBI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 62,484 Fonts\TREBUCIT.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 109,724 Fonts\VERDANA.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 108,256 Fonts\VERDANAB.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 123,824 Fonts\VERDANAI.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 124,712 Fonts\VERDANAZ.TTF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 71,556 Fonts\WINGDING.TTF
118 Files 11,327,584 bytes
Microsoft (R) Cabinet Extraction Tool - Version (16) 1.00.603.0 (08/14/97)
Copyright (c) Microsoft Corp 1994-1997. All rights reserved.
Cabinet Pub98TR2.cab
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 9,024 Clipart\AG00004_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 7,216 Clipart\AG00011_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 14,873 Clipart\AG00021_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 6,684 Clipart\AG00037_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,106 Clipart\AG00038_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 8,097 Clipart\AG00040_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 7,686 Clipart\AG00052_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 11,891 Clipart\AG00057_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 517 Clipart\AG00090_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 502 Clipart\AG00092_.gif
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,140 Clipart\AG00126_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 12,482 Clipart\AG00129_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,253 Clipart\AG00130_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,596 Clipart\AG00135_.gif
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,315 Clipart\AG00154_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 4,955 Clipart\AG00157_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,030 Clipart\AG00158_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,146 Clipart\AG00160_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 7,583 Clipart\AG00161_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 6,984 Clipart\AG00163_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 13,254 Clipart\AG00164_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 8,582 Clipart\AG00165_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 4,894 Clipart\AG00167_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,375 Clipart\AG00169_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 9,248 Clipart\AG00170_.gif
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 4,390 Clipart\AG00172_.GIF
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,966 Clipart\AG00174_.GIF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,378 Clipart\AG00175_.GIF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,120 Clipart\AG00176_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 28,194 Clipart\AG00177_.GIF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,026 Clipart\AN00010_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 4,734 Clipart\AN00015_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,684 Clipart\AN00790_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 20,578 Clipart\AN00853_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 10,832 Clipart\AN00914_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 14,428 Clipart\AN00932_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 7,072 Clipart\AN00965_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,344 Clipart\AN01039_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,596 Clipart\AN01044_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 7,968 Clipart\AN01060_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,832 Clipart\AN01084_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 26,332 Clipart\AN01173_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 27,858 Clipart\AN01174_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,746 Clipart\AN01184_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,012 Clipart\AN01218_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,756 Clipart\AN01251_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 7,372 Clipart\AN01545_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 7,384 Clipart\baby_01.mid
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 12,520 Clipart\BL00008_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 880 Clipart\BL00105_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,556 Clipart\BL00262_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,752 Clipart\BL00265_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,768 Clipart\BL00985_.WMF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,350 Clipart\BOAT.WMF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 10,038 Clipart\BOATINST.WMF
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,676 Clipart\BS00443_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 900 Clipart\DD01434_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 7,878 Clipart\FD00403_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 4,796 Clipart\FD00428_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,108 Clipart\FD00435_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,098 Clipart\FD00438_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 17,406 Clipart\FD00459_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,260 Clipart\FD00544_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,136 Clipart\SY01491_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,176 Clipart\TN00234_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,956 Clipart\TN00246_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,564 Clipart\TN00253_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 7,356 Clipart\TR00126_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 22,184 Clipart\TR00232_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 31,818 Clipart\TR00233_.wmf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 6,144 Clipart\TR00494_.wmf
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 4,961 Clipart\vctrn_01.mid
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 740 Clipart\WB01219_.gif
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 344 Clipart\WB01242_.gif
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 462 Clipart\WB01246_.gif
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 427 Clipart\WB01268_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 597 Clipart\WB01292_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 679 Clipart\WB01293_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 685 Clipart\WB01294_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 353 Clipart\WB01295_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 495 Clipart\WB01296_.gif
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 700 Clipart\WB01298_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 318 Clipart\WB01299_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 592 Clipart\WB01300_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 681 Clipart\WB01301_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 8,310 Clipart\WB01304G.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 370 Clipart\WB01330_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,201 Clipart\WB01734_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 707 Clipart\WB01740_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 595 Clipart\WB01742_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,237 Clipart\WB01743_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 799 Clipart\WB01744_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,452 Clipart\WB01745_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 738 Clipart\WB01746_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 903 Clipart\WB01747_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 727 Clipart\WB01748_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 948 Clipart\WB01749_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,172 Clipart\WB01750_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 953 Clipart\WB01751_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 772 Clipart\WB01770_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,652 Clipart\WB01838_.GIF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,094 Clipart\WB01839_.GIF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,534 Clipart\WB01840_.GIF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,900 Clipart\WB01842_.GIF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 4,817 Clipart\WB01843_.GIF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 4,139 Clipart\WB02229_.GIF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,582 Clipart\WHIRL1.WMF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,966 Clipart\WHIRL2.WMF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,582 Clipart\WING1.WMF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,422 Clipart\WING2.WMF
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 6,915 Clipart\WNTER_01.mid
667 Files 10,490,876 bytes
Microsoft (R) Cabinet Extraction Tool - Version (16) 1.00.603.0 (08/14/97)
Copyright (c) Microsoft Corp 1994-1997. All rights reserved.
Cabinet Pub98TR3.cab
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 468,266 Actors\clippit.act
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 8,079 Bgrounds\WB00780L.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,613 Bgrounds\WB01741L.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 908 Bgrounds\WB02039_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,439 Bgrounds\WB02055_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 893 Bgrounds\WB02073_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,302 Bgrounds\WB02074_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 765 Bgrounds\WB02077_.gif
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,409 Bgrounds\WB02097_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,626 Bgrounds\WB02106_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,007 Bgrounds\WB02116_.gif
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,401 Bgrounds\WB02187_.gif
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 4,971 Bgrounds\WB02214_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,012 Bgrounds\WB02218_.gif
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 59,810 Pubbrd\MSPUB1A.BDR
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 13,558 Pubbrd\MSPUB1B.BDR
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 50,356 Pubbrd\MSPUB2A.BDR
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 15,788 Pubbrd\MSPUB2B.BDR
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 55,786 Pubbrd\MSPUB3A.BDR
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,876 Pubbrd\MSPUB3B.BDR
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 49,098 Pubbrd\MSPUB4.BDR
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,897 Pubwiz\ad98.des
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,827 Pubwiz\air98.des
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,052 Pubwiz\ban98.des
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 28,594 Pubwiz\ban98.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,429 Pubwiz\brchur98.des
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 948,102 Pubwiz\brchur98.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,426 Pubwiz\bs2barb.poc
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,873 Pubwiz\bzcrd98.des
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 38,100 Pubwiz\bzcrd98.poc
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 628 Pubwiz\checker.poc
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 33,024 Pubwiz\coupon.poc
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,150 Pubwiz\invite98.des
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 109,922 Pubwiz\menu98.poc
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 20,868 Pubwiz\navbarv.poc
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,070,306 Pubwiz\news98.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,179 Pubwiz\orig98.des
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,358 Pubwiz\orig98.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 243 Pubwiz\piccap98.des
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 990 Pubwiz\pictph.poc
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,873 Pubwiz\prog98.des
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,128 Pubwiz\ps10targ.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 388 Pubwiz\ps2swoos.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 626 Pubwiz\ps9crnrh.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 233 Pubwiz\pulqot98.des
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 12,468 Pubwiz\pulqot98.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 59,968 Pubwiz\resp98.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 468 Pubwiz\rspmech.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 228 Pubwiz\sidbar98.des
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 18,138 Pubwiz\sidbar98.poc
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 14,202 Pubwiz\snipe.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 514 Pubwiz\strbrst.poc
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 234 Pubwiz\toc98.des
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 59,370 Pubwiz\toc98.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,591 Pubwiz\wcomp98.des
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 17,864 Pubwiz\wcomp98.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,012 Pubwiz\web98.des
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 600,848 Pubwiz\web98.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 231 Pubwiz\webhed98.des
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 37,100 Pubwiz\webhed98.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 240 Pubwiz\wpulqt98.des
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,776 Pubwiz\wpulqt98.poc
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12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,702 Pubwiz\wsidbr98.poc
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,760 Shared\Artgalry\ARTGALRY.CNT
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 596,480 Shared\Artgalry\ARTGALRY.DLL
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 66,048 Shared\Artgalry\ARTGALRY.EXE
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1 Shared\Artgalry\ARTGALRY.GID
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 56,593 Shared\Artgalry\ARTGALRY.HLP
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,062 Shared\Artgalry\ARTGALRY.SRG
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 95,744 Shared\Artgalry\GIFPLAY.DLL
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 12,288 Shared\Artgalry\PICSTORE.DLL
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1 Shared\Artgalry\QARTGLRY.FTS
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 16,999 Shared\Artgalry\QARTGLRY.HLP
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 184 Shared\Artgalry\WWW_CLIP.URL
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 61,952 Shared\Grphflt\BMPIMP32.FLT
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 216,064 Shared\Grphflt\CDRIMP32.FLT
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 54,784 Shared\Grphflt\CGMIMP32.FLT
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 52,224 Shared\Grphflt\EPSIMP32.FLT
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 134,656 Shared\Grphflt\GIFIMP32.FLT
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 171,520 Shared\Grphflt\JPEGIM32.FLT
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 212,480 Shared\Grphflt\PCDLIB32.DLL
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 57,344 Shared\Grphflt\PCXIMP32.FLT
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 104,960 Shared\Grphflt\TIFFIM32.FLT
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 13,312 Shared\Grphflt\WMFIMP32.FLT
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 29,696 Shared\Proof\MSHY32.DLL
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 134,144 Shared\Proof\MSHY_EN.LEX
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 35,262 Shared\Proof\mso97.acl
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 138,240 Shared\Proof\MSSP232.DLL
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 327,823 Shared\Proof\MSSP2_EA.LEX
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 254,875 Shared\Proof\MSSP2_EN.LEX
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 96,016 Shared\Quill\MSLS2.DLL
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 103,184 Shared\Quill\QRTF98.DLL
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 460,560 Shared\Quill\qs98.DLL
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 128,000 Shared\TextConv\MSCONV97.DLL
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 340,480 Shared\TextConv\WPFT532.CNV
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 253,440 Shared\TextConv\WPFT632.CNV
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 65,024 Shared\WordArt\PUBOLEA.DLL
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1 Shared\WordArt\QWRDRT32.FTS
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 12,929 Shared\WordArt\QWRDRT32.HLP
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,354 Shared\WordArt\WRDART32.CNT
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 274,432 Shared\WordArt\WRDART32.EXE
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1 Shared\WordArt\WRDART32.FTS
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1 Shared\WordArt\WRDART32.GID
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 46,452 Shared\WordArt\WRDART32.HLP
162 Files 10,139,979 bytes
Microsoft (R) Cabinet Extraction Tool - Version (16) 1.00.603.0 (08/14/97)
Copyright (c) Microsoft Corp 1994-1997. All rights reserved.
Cabinet Pub98TR4.cab
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 352,256 acmsetup.exe
01-06-1998 3:52:32p ---- 8,628 acmsetup.gid
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 14,490 acmsetup.hlp
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 27,447 agent98.reg
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 6,046 apple380.spd
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 77,312 cheklist.jsp
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 91,136 clrchk.jsp
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,539 clrscm.reg
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 332,808 com32upd.exe
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 87,552 complinc.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 95,719 fonts.mfm
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 12,844 helpid.ini
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 31,744 hlp95en.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,104 htmlenc.reg
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 77,712 iconlib.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 28,672 infoshet.jsp
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,724,416 mfc42.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 133,904 mfcans32.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 13,824 mor5int.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 321,536 morph98.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 94,208 msencode.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 5,651 msgenbw.ppd
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,534 msgencol.ppd
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,178 mspub.inf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 12,024 mspub.opg
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 19,968 mspub.pub
04-17-1998 8:29:34a ---- 8,628 mspubpss.gid
12-23-1997 10:42:40a ---- 6,136 mspubpss.hlp
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 255,488 mssetup.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 114,688 msvcirt.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 883,200 msvcp50.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 421,888 msvcrt.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 253,952 msvcrt20.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 326,656 msvcrt40.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 112,128 mvcl14n.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 56,320 mvfs14n.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 32,768 mvmg14n.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 51,200 mvsr14n.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 50,688 mvtl14n.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 10,240 mvut14n.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 946 network.cnt
12-23-1997 9:46:00a ---- 10,836 network.gid
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 492,304 oleaut32.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 12,130 printer.inf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 393,200 pscript.drv
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 328 pscript.ini
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 28,672 psmon.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,844 pub3brsh.ani
01-06-1998 12:48:50p ---- 143,882 pub5.ddf
01-07-1998 8:47:10a ---- 86,284 pub5.inf
02-09-1998 8:13:50p ---- 108,037 pub5.stf
12-29-1997 1:47:40p ---- 480,768 pub5stp.dll
12-29-1997 10:35:54a ---- 34,496 pub5tr.fst
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 379,377 pub98.aw
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 38,912 pubdlg.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 29,696 pubenv.dll
01-06-1998 3:52:26p ---- 8,628 pubeula.gid
01-09-1998 11:10:54a ---- 10,085 pubeula.hlp
01-08-1998 1:11:28p ---- 4,924 pubeula.txt
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 101,888 pubole98.dll
01-06-1998 3:52:24p ---- 8,628 pubread.gid
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 24,668 pubread.hlp
01-06-1998 3:52:46p ---- 8,628 qmspub.gid
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 112,977 qmspub.hlp
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 299,792 riched20.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 6,144 rulerfnt.fon
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 153,256 safe.stf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 44,544 selfreg.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 74,192 setup.exe
12-30-1997 9:43:28a ---- 149 setup.ini
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 1,112 setup.lst
01-06-1998 3:36:52p ---- 84 setup.tdf
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 16,896 stdole2.tlb
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 2,640 testps.txt
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 17,920 zmspub.pub
75 Files 9,306,099 bytes
Microsoft (R) Cabinet Extraction Tool - Version (16) 1.00.603.0 (08/14/97)
Copyright (c) Microsoft Corp 1994-1997. All rights reserved.
Cabinet Pub98TR5.cab
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 487,184 mso7enu.dll
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,782,416 mso97.dll
02-03-1998 5:04:14p ---- 2,243,856 mspub.exe
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 3,409,278 mspub.m14
12-08-1997 12:00:00a ---- 4,050,866 pub50.ctg
02-03-1998 4:51:12p ---- 913,408 pub5int.dll
6 Files 14,887,008 bytes
xxxx Marinka!.txt
Hi,
Sorry about those othello games - my pc has been very temperamental
lately! :)
I think I'll have to play othello without Netscape being open as well -
I'm almost to the point of reformating the hard drive and reinstalling
the whole lot over again but that's such a PAIN!
We seem to be a pretty good match for each other in playing ability.
The really top players just wipe me out and that's not a whole lot
of fun for them or for me. :)
What time are you usually online? I am limited to 2 hrs a day so I have
to use it wisely.
Anyway, thanks for the games so far and hopefully we can play some more
in the future - I have only recently started playing over the internet
and I thought I was a pretty good player but boy some of them absolutely
thrash me! I have played mainly software versions of the game as I don't
know anyone who's even heard of it. Poor sods don't know what they're
missing :)
I have played Triple Othello, Tribolo, Morphello, Flipit, Reversi and other
computer versions of the game and usually work out a way to beat em but
with real live people it's a bit different - you never really know what
they're likely to do :)
Happy New Year and all that - see you round
Nietzsche
(Geoff Allen, Melbourne, Australia - home of the best game in the world)
[email protected]
Yeah seee marinka1.mfo - IF I recorded moves right! ONE way or another
my ranking is WAY down what with STRONG posits freezing or postponed
or silly other things ... god .. oh well ........
Well in fact I do it in newest othello wher Coords are correct!...
...
I could send her those 60-4 classssics ... hmmmm.....
xxxx mind!.txt
Excerpts from "The Troubled Mind":
Since the beginnings of recorded history, man has been fascinated
with the insane, with their deranged feeling, thinking, and behaviour.
Insane people with fanciful delusions have at times attracted large
numbers of adherents, who looked upon their psychotic leaders as
prophets or as saviours of some sort. The alluring properties of
the "prophet's" message may be more than just a beckoning of a way
to escape from the boredom of everyday life. I suspect that many
followers are riveted by a peculiarly intoxicating quality of psychotic
ecstasy conveyed by the "mad" leader. ........
The psychiatric disease that converts man into an other-worldly
creature - at once wiser than the wisest of the sane and yet so
deeply troubled that he suffers more than a terminal cancer patient -
is surely schizophrenia Because of his bizarre loss of contact with
everyday reality, the schizophrenic can appeal to us as a messiah
bearing the message of the infinite. For our conception of the universe
is bounded by the straitjacket of conventional thinking processes.
A schizophrenic's self-perception is so fragmented that he seems
to function at a different plane of consciousness from the rest
of humanity. Some psychiatrists who have dealt extensively with
schizophrenics even wonder wheher the schizophrenic's "psychotic"
perception of the world might not conform more to ultimate reality
than does our sane vision.
Because of such doubts, Ronald Laing, a Scottish psychiatrist, questions
whether schizophrenia should be viewed as a disease at all in the
ordinary sense. He feels that the schizophrenic experience may be
quite a natural one. In schizophrenia, individuals, for unclear
reasons, have entered into an "inner world" that part of their psyche
which is unconscious most of the time and which contains many of
the primitive instinctual elements "discovered" by Freud.
There was more but I can't locate the book or the photocopies.....
xxxx mira!.txt
Yep doesn't take long to get back to my main obsesssss .....
But she is DAM hot - use voucher ???? ooooh !!!!
xxxx More Ideas.txt
Oct 20 - huge edit as some have been printed and some aint......
More ideas ... on a manic roll at present
*** Which will I print for OCT ?? save some ???
**** Now! I spend hours combining dozens into just
2 documents .....
WElllll see short poems.pub for what made it
in - if I print it .. sheee..... so rearrange
the word97 docs ?? cos 8 went into one PUB !!
and some rewrites.. argh!!!
Some now go into "Digitally Enhanced Reality" !!
and "The House"
DDo it as a PUB file? or cells ????
several on one page - smaller font?
.... borders and spacing ??
Call it future dreams rather than Pure Nonsense ??
or maybe Entrances & Exits ??
or
I swam through oceans of soft fire
I felt suspended as if by wire
I was free from gravitation
I was ruler of all nations
Boy! Now desktop publishing ??
and more poem ideas -
How Long
You Never Know
Not necessarily
Now before & after Marilyn! -
People with their plastic knives
Will tinker tinker with their lives
Imaginary Conversations
I asked him for some instant advice
He told me to consider an ocean of ice
I asked him about his sentimental ways
He told me there were never enough days
People in their western ways
Learn to count their angry days
People with their lives so busy
Never notice pieces missing
People with their lives so free
Never know what soon shall be
I asked if there were any answers
He told me to go join the dancers
I asked him if the trees were bending
He said they were already never ending
He asked me if I could stop the rot
I said I might not find the right spot
etc ......
Great 2 lines but what goes with em ??-
Like some half remembered episode
From someone else's life
Call this one The Psychotic Dream ?? (or True Identity)
jO'S POEM AINT BAD TOO!! /.......
Life is a puzzle
With many solutions
Every living soul
Finds its resolutions
Tell me all about it
Speak to me of roses and weeds
Speak to me of trees in the breeze
Speak to me of men and their dreams
Speak to me of what it all means
Speak to me
Of objects thrown
Lands unknown
A purple stone
Madness walks through my mind
I don't care if they are blind
Madness cures me every day
I nevr see it any other way
Boy! now mad prophet!!!!!
and ....What Puzzles me could be developed!
What puzzles me
And I'm sure you'll agree
Is where do we go
And what shall be
Could be all my eternal themes and what intrigues me etc
.... why emotions ebb & flow ... birds with wings... why do we enjoy such things
,..... how do we even know what words mean ......
....could add a lot to those .. on same page as Identity crisis????? well
Identity makes it into October.....
If heaven is full of people like you
I'd rather be in an angel's zoo
work on that aews! and into Di copy ??.....
Pure Nonsense
I used to believe in the worst of life
I used to believe in the blextroid of knives
I was a sponge in a crime of the insane
I was jesus in his early lives
I used to believe in the shame of life
I used to believe in the plink of ploinkly
I was a spectator in the lives of the insane
I was a mutant priest in a holy cave
I used to believe in the rimless roimzy
I used to believe in tiny fairies that
Spread happiness dust on people as they
Sleep in the nightmare of normality
I used to believe in all the little barking
I was a number in an equation in your blood
Where is all the barking and all the barking numbers
I used to be an angel in a jar of mud
Include random brainwave as a memory......
I am the next madman you will ever need
I find a shoe and softly wear it
I see the world and grin and bear it
I squeeze my life into a cave
Free to scream and rant and rave
I am joined by fifteen angels (and devils)
I laugh as they fly around my head
I used to walk around like an angry mutant
I used to scream into the face of madness
I was a flame in the ocean of blood
I was a screaming mutant in a tree
I used to believe in all the JANTWAY-FROLTHORN
I used to believe in all the JANTWAY-FROINGLE
JANTWAY-FROLTHORN is JANTWAY-FROINGLE
JANTWAY-FROLTHORN is JANTWAY-FROIMBLE
These next few aint in Journey yet (as I tear hair out at Encarta 98!!!)
I was born like a human experimental madman
I used to believe in all the shame of life
People told me I was mad.
So, I said yes, I am the madman.
I'm not mad. I'm FEXWAY CROLTHORN.
People love their BRIFTY and their BROIMBLES.
I was a broken down madman
I was the filth of life
People tell me I'm insane
But they don't even know the pain
People tell me I'm so weird
But they can't even see I'm revered
People never know if their names are real
People never know if they are going to be mad
People love their SCRINTY SCROINTY NORMAL
People love to believe in the filth of life
I used to believ in all the madness of Christ
I'm not mad. I'm FLOINK the CROINK
I sent latest but forgot this ?? add to start of Di version ?? -
Include a bit on "doublethink" from The novel 1984 - the power to
hold two contradictory beliefs in your head simultaneously and
accept both of them.
I used to blame my own life
I used to believe in all the flops and flopsy
I was a drop in the ocean
I was a crickler and a croinkler
I was the crinkler of the crosby
I'm actually a remote-controlled robot from outer space
People tell me I'm insane
I am something they cannot explain
People tell me that I'm mad
I tell them not to be so sad
People live in a carefully constructed world of illusions
People tell me they are fond of their delusions
People tell me that I'm strange
And my life should be rearranged
People tell me that I'm weird
I tell them nothing is to be feared
Hey! Those bits cut off latest - like Imaginary Conversations
& Unknown & Unheard etc .... are they in combine1 ???
I will spin myself around
Landing up and landing down
aLSO SEEEE "boy oh boy.txt" & "add ons.txt" have poems and also
I suppose see marilyn.doc - should be added to after agm !!!! mate .....
Boy ..... they keep comin..... in lead up to Cup bbq & Marilyn &
new software in 3 days !? ......
Foreign Legions? or Artificial Sweetener ??
How many aliens are living in my brain
You cant think like that you must be insane
How many ways can a man bend his mind
With a full explanation of evrything sublime
How many time can a world be destroyed
How do you console all the unemployed
How many ideas have been crushed out of sight
How do people justify the crimes of the night
How many days can you be distracted
In dreams you have always interacted
How many nights can be frittered away
How do we even continue to play
How many dollars should a man be paid
How many ways must a question be asked
.... could add stax .....
They keep comin......
Transformation
I was a corkin the ocean
I was a dot on the screen
I walked around in slow motion
I was an unpainted scene
Now I am the painter
The scene is designed
It grows a little fainter
As it enters my mind
Hey! Pub can do shadings and patterns!!! for poems & framing !!
The nightmare of Schizophrenia!
Each day I wake up and ask
Is this the day I go completely insane
It seems a never ending task
To subdue the demons in my brain
I try to pretend that all is fine
I search for answers that don't exist
I wonder if my thoughts are mine
Is there anything left to twist
I feel like an eagle trapped in a cage
For the amusement of some unseen crowd
I struggle against the rusty chains
My silent thoughts seem so loud
My feelings have all been hijacked
By who or what I do not know
I am the earth after a comet's impact
For me there is no tomorrow
Can I go on like this much longer
I fell like vanishing down the hole
Can I find a way to be any stronger
Is there a way to reclaim my soul
Boy!!! Same day as 2nd wobbly for cup bbq - see marilyn.doc ... god ..... and glenn!
And these beauties.....
People ask me to blame my life
I say blame it blame it away
People tell me about the shame of life
I let them know what I did today
People ask me if I'm mad
And I tell them that I am
People ask me if I'm mad
And I tell tehm that I am
People jump like orange spiders in the night
Tapes - you lunatic - first listen in ages - um, there IS a reason
they are described as "outrageous" or "phenomenal" .. sheeee
People jump
as they ever can
On the moon
Or in Japan
People sing
As they would know
In a school
Or deep in snow
Peope sigh
As they drop the bottles
In the fields
The rabbits mingle
People dance
As they always do
In a trance
Or at the zoo
I was a beautiful madman
Unfinished Poems
Cycles
A tree fell over
The branches broke
The people danced
I told a joke
A seed was planted
The tree grew tall
I stood and waited
It just might fall
Possibilities
I thought I might live in the ocean
I may even swim like a bee
I could live in the jungle
And climb every tall tree
I'd like to bounce like a rabbit
I woul never need much more
I might like to see like an eagle
Or crawl like an ant on the floor
Gypsies
People ask me to put twelve in their lives
I tell them not to hurry
Or worry
There are always new hives
........ some are in PUB format for Publisher 98......
Yep they are .... oh well ....
File names are: GUESSWORK, UNFINISHED POEMS, CAN WE - some have several poems
all with different borders or colours
The Bustop
Events of the world seem so chaotic
All this activity can be hypnotic
Is there a reason for all the confusion
Do people share the same delusion
Momentary Lapse in Concentration
People show me the colour of their lives
Then they walk away and speak no more
I was born like a ghost in the desert
I looked around like a Japanese man
I looked down and saw half a plan
I was a beautiful madman
People walk through my life
And they tell me their names
I talk to them for a while
Then I stare into the flames - or return to the flames
Tell me what you'd ever know
Tell me if you'd let them grow
Tell me if you are a ghost
Tell me what you hope for most
Tell me a story
Make me laugh
Tell me all about
Your pet giraffe
.....update PUB and new one ... sheeee.....
......then update people4.zip ......Misconceptions & Misconceptions -
as a title ....
People jump like orange gangs
You were the benefactor
And I was the bending factor
I was famous with my name in lights
But It wasn't my name
Twelve is my dead lifetime
People drag me underground
I wonder why thew have all frowned
Every person has a codename in their life
And when that codename is discovered
They disappear from the earth
And never return
In midst of relapse ?? -
Impossible Dreams
Voices raised in effortless symphony
No barriers to total harmony
Leaders who do not act like fools
Who never try to bend the rules
Ancient wisdom being taught in schools
Buildings constructed without tools
People communicating honestly
Through telepathic means
A total absence of violence
From our TV screens
An end to the pursuit of welath
Could even improve your health
An end to every exploitation
A true union of all nations
mate .....
Plus this
A random assortment of important words assembled in no particular
order
Instinct, Impulse, Open, Assumption, Energy, Force, Creativity, Sublime,
Effortless, Harmony, Memory, Elevation, Behaviour, Merge, Harmony,
Peace, Vision, Cooperation, Understanding, .....
My own ten thousand volts
Electrified by some unseen force
Is it true or is it false
I don't know and I don't mind
Unless of course I end up blind
Friendly Persuasion (revisited)
People tell me I'm in the wrong place
They put cream all over my face
I hope that I will not choke
As I tell them all a joke
When they start pouring
Soup down my neck
I am quite puzzled
I might even object
Instead I start to laugh
Soon they all join in
I am not really worried
I know the soup is thin
"Why did I scream like a madman"
Therapy
Tell me I'm mad
Tell me I'm sane
Tell me anything
Tranquilise my brain
Tell me about your awful life
Tell me why you have no wife
Tell me all your darkest fears
Tell me about the empty years
Tell me if the room is spinning
Tell me if your team is winning
Tell me why the cats are grinning
Tell me if there is such sinning
Tell me how you really feel
Tell me if my thoughts are real
Tell me why you scream in fright
Tell me how you get through the night
Tell me what tomorrow may bring
Tell me why I rarely sing
Tell me if the walls can talk
Tell me why we need to walk
Tell me I'm mad
Tell me I'm sane
Give me pills
To calm my brain
Sure mate! well .....
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx sent in email 1.1.99 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(in files1 & files2.zip - think!)
So paste whatever folllows into "update.txt" so uploads SMALL!!!!
People walk like golden monsters through my life
I think that everyone should dream about the magnetic robot aliens,
who break into your house every night-time and stick candles up
my arse! They told me I was their favourite madman! They also like
to put a Chinese onion on my head to bring me good luck during the
plastic dreams of the insane.
Show THAT to Di as well as Fractal mind !! mate ......
Psychosis
Walking around in a plastic dream
I look into the mirror and scream
Tormented by demons and unseen forces
My mind is wild like stampeding horses
Why is it so
Does anyone know
Who is to blame
Is everyone the same
I used to walk down the street
And scream at everyone I meet
So they locked me away
From the world evry day
I crawled through the walls
So they showed me some normals
They strangled my mind
To help me unwind
I am a human experimental life-form
My blood flows backwards to keep me warm
My eyes have seen the truth inside
In five days they will run and hide
I used to think I was a robot from outer space
With wires in my head and a little plastic face
I used to believe that I had such magic powers
Which I would glady practice for many hours
I used to think ants were crawling on my brain
I stared at the world and only saw the pain
I used to monsters and ghosts everywhere
I stayed inside and I didn't even care
People ask me if I can save the world
I tell them to leave all the flags unfurled
People ask me about my frozen lifetime
I tell them not to believe in the crime
People ask me about the human mysteries
I tell them to jump up into the trees
People ask me about the human struggle
I tell them they should blow more bubbles
People ask me about my frozen lifetime
I tell them not to believe in the crime
People ask me about the human struggle
I tell them they should blow more bubbles
They try to explain the way I behave
Why I continue to rant and to rave
They sell me some onions and some red glue
Magic Symbols
Medical disciples in slow thankless worlds
Unknown and unheard they crawl on grey carpet
They wait for the seventh season of their lives
And search for the random chaos of events
Twelve in the way and twelve in the day
Merrily saved and they fall down in play
Thrown from the battle and grown in the sun
Arranged in tight circles and then only one
Blurred Vision
My eyes were cloudy I could not see
All around me there was such a mist
To find out what the trouble may be
I went along to see the optimist
He gave to me a riddle or two
And three candles which were green and blue
The candles he said were to light the way
While the riddles were there to fill the day
I was so happy I almost shouted
Some new ideas had already sprouted
I thanked him with a golden flower
We laughed together for half an hour
Decisions Decisions
My doctor told me I was mad
I said mate they're all so sad
Then he told me all about the cost
How all the little people got lost
I listened to his tragic story
What happened to the ancient glory
Outsmarted by their own inventions
Despite their very best intentions
Now it's too late to say goodbye
Silent objects pierce the sky
Haunted by their own illusions
Strangers talk of old solutions
People tell me to run through the famous city,
Then they watch me wander along the beaches,
When I shift the soldiers buttons,
They sell me a jumper with extra sleeves
I saw a ghost in a jar of sand,
He asked me If I had any jokes,
I said I have no fear of candles,
So he took me off to meet his folks
Xxxx
People ask me about the stars in the sky, People try to scare me
with their rusty knives, So I smash their skulls and throm them into
bee hives yeah SING that at work and noone will bother you!!! ...
plus more added to (now) epic "Psychosis"
The world drags me underground, I feel like I'm already drowned,
I suffocate in the open air, I fall down and don't even care.
Plus more addits to "Psychosis" - My choice is the choice of lifetimes,
Your choice is the choice of new crimes & People ask me about the
detrimental phrase, I say words can confuse in so many ways.
Internal Magic (of the insane?)
I used to think about ....
Thank me for the ....
Relaxation
I walk down to the soft green ocean
I see the perpetual waves in motion
I watch a fish and eat a sandwich
I drop an tiny onion onto the beach
and that one about "famous city" - call it Journey of a Lifetime ??
Boy these at 4am in torrrrential rain after 6 days of heat!
Call this one Back to Nature?
I walk through the forest like a chinese doctor
I let the mystical landsape surround me
I feel the internal magic of the moment
Until I bump into a laughing monkey
Add to Relaxation:
I throw the dice
I play the cards
I rake the leaves
I clean the yards
I drift on clouds
I feel the breeze
I bend the spoon
Across my knees
I fill the cup
I catch the sun
I fall asleep
I climb for fun
I pull an idea out of my hat
I let it wande across the sky
I fold it neatly and watch it softly
Then something else distracts my eye
xxxx My TV service at sofcom.txt
I am geo18411
By the way! sofcom aint bad at alll..... mate !
Well, I do basically just flit around ....
And Hotmail! - send you stax ..... wayyyy better than excite ...
for freee ...
Oh, i used elidia as passsword at hotmail ....
....
xxxx othello chat and chic!.txt
Nietzsche> Hi
KilwE> Hello :-)
KilwE> where r u from?
Nietzsche> Austalia
Nietzsche> Melbourne
KilwE> I am from Greece
Nietzsche> I've never been there
KilwE> It's nice. You should come if you can
Nietzsche> I may do so in the future
Nietzsche> Been playing long?
KilwE> It's just my second game here but i have played the game before
Nietzsche> Takes a while to learn all the tricks.....
KilwE> I see..
KilwE> how old r u?
Nietzsche> 40
KilwE> I am 20
Nietzsche> I remember when I was that young
KilwE> wow...
KilwE> you're very good..!
Nietzsche> Actually one of the best players I played was just 15!!
KilwE> cool!
Nietzsche> There are plenty here who could make me look sick ....
Nietzsche> Your move - I'm about to be cut off .....
That was weeeird - he just froze? & I went oooh to room and Tatty
a 21 yr old Russian girl rankied above me was waiting for someone
to play with her and I got cut off !!
cos IF ya exit window (can't unreg players postpone ??) you are deeemed
to have resigned! even if the dope just quits on ya ..... oh well .....
That was 8 pm Boxing Day and God what a day or 2 !! 37 degreeees
2 in a row then COLD and torrrrreential rain (gutters again ???)
and Karly and Kate & rose & my flick toy and presents .... and I
should be zonked!!! ..... oh plus freeeeservers ??? ya can upload
and they show up on file manager but ftp doesn't show em so cannot
download ???
....
***** Do as large HTM ??? private ?? encrypt ???? .......
So - 8 pm Boxing Day is what time in russia ?? ....
xxxx Phil! stax to do and I get dot matrix!.txt
Boy
* edit win.com
* all the defaults and optimising
* avi off Cinemania - and win 95 cd - and bbs and net
* and wav - eg python
* Morphello * Python demo * Pinball * Funky? * GWBASIC ??
* Omnipedia?? Dogz * Ice Breaker 7th level ???? where ???
Keen 4 ?? * and that's just a start - show bbs etc etc ..
* Pub 97 & crack .. mate .....
* DOS mode? & sound ?? * Multi Config ?? * Tips ....
* batch file ! to copy best of avi and mov off cds - Cinemania & Star Trek
* htm ? - star trek x files etc .....
* pinball? weird? attribs ?? sound ?? drivers? dos mode ????
xxxx Pocket sheet for if I work!.txt
Yep I really need one MORE txt file ... oh well
AND it IS only what 48 hrs since MAJOR revisit of the VINTAGE anger and
writing that DVJS is an absurd ream - or even a VERY bad move!!!!
Hmmmm.......
One page has a (now out of date list!) of poems titles -
I suppose as a jog to memory to "snap" me out of inevitable troughs ....
Things I don't DO:
* Like read!! - the notebks - tapes & micros - Better than life -
- Tao of Pooh, Nostradamus, Return of Gods, Awakening to Zen, Joyce,
Blake,
- NOT to even mention HTM & internet ... argh ....
- Now Instant Calm & Ian Stewart - 1st book in ages read cover to cover!
in only ten days or so ....
- Valerian ??
- Stretch & PC reminders!
- Breathe!
- Whistle & Tull& FLOW & Doves cry & WARM up voice &
- Take books to work ?? my own ?? SANE ??
- Close eyes and rest & relax
- Laugh & humour & Seinfeld etc
- Manic surge lately (written early Nov 98 ? before dvjs & xmas etc !!??)
- Plax - PC mags
- Posture as well ** Could put stax out of "coping" ??
- Qld 98 - swim & photos & balms & Rumi & Mahjong & kids & piggy back
& read Tao on plane &
Sites - othello! chat etc etc ....
Stump & Olinda & Yard & PBS & Tibetan Bells &
Doublethink & quotes etc
Food ? - soup & dolmio & garlic & sardines! & yog & fruit ....
- sultanas & banana chips .....
more ?? - yet as I say if it don't flow instinctively effortlessly ... mate ....
Jan 99 - see hotmail for passwords (as clues) - grjallen & delaney .....
can access my page and htm if know their names (from file manager)
BUT doesn't HISTORY get saved ! esp if type it in as you'd have to
May never arise as restriction ?? I did it at Spring Lib ....
xxxx poems!.txt
Wondrous Sights
And here we see a tranquil lake
Filled with loving fish
And over there a magic stone
That grants ever wish
You might even see a city
Where crystal people dwell
Who ride around on snowflakes
With funny tales to tell
If you do not see these things
Don't think that you are blind
They hide among the cobwebs
In the corners of your mind
The Messenger
I saw a man with fifteen eyes
Who wandered lonely through the skies
His voice was soft like quiet thunder
He asked me if I could still wonder
I told him I'd forgotten how
He said that I should fix it now
Or face the dire consequences
Of using less than half my senses
Friendly Persuasion
People stop me in the street
They put glue all over my feet
I thank them with a bunch of flowers
We walk together through golden hours
Imaginary Conversations
I asked him for some instant advice
He told me to consider an ocean of ice
I was puzzled by this notion
Until I saw the suntan lotion
I asked him about his sentimental ways
He told me there were never enough days
I asked him if the trees were bending
He said they were already never ending
People in their western ways
Rarely look beyond the phrase
People with their lives so busy
Never notice pieces missing
I asked him if there was stil hope
He said I should untie the rope
I asked if there were any answers
He told me to go join the dancers
Brief poem about nothing in particular
I whistle as I walk along
I half remember every song
I am joined by fifteen angels in red
I laugh as they fly around my head
Tell me all about it
Speak to me of roses and weeds
Speak to me of trees in the breeze
Speak to me of men and their dreams
Speak to me of what it all means
Speak to me
Of objects thrown
Lands unknown
A purple stone
Tell me what you'd ever know
Tell me if you'd let them grow
Tell me if you are a ghost
Tell me what you hope for most
Tell me a story
Make me laugh
Tell me all about
Your pet giraffe
Sing me a song
About angels in flight
Draw me a painting
Fold it just right
Build me a prison
Strengthen the walls
Fill it with pebbles
Hold all my calls
The Bustop
Events of the world
seem so chaotic
All this activity
can be hypnotic
Is there a reason
for all the confusion
Do people share
the same delusion
Reasonable Progress
People walk through my life
And they tell me their names
I talk to them for a while
Then I return to the flames
Momentary Lapse in Concentration
People show me the colour of their lives
Then they walk away and speak no more
The Weeping Statue
I was born like a ghost in the desert
I stood up in the middle of a concert
I looked around like a Japanese man
I looked down and formed half a plan
Possibilities
I thought I might live in the ocean
I may even swim like a bee
I could live in the jungle
And climb every tall tree
I'd like to bounce like a rabbit
I would never need much more
I might like to see like an eagle
Or crawl like an ant on the floor
Cycles
A tree fell over
The branches broke
The people danced
I told a joke
A seed was planted
The tree grew tall
I stood and waited
It just might fall
Transformation
I was a cork in the ocean
I was a dot on the screen
I walked around in slow motion
I was an unpainted scene
Now I am the painter
The scene is designed
It grows a little fainter
As it enters my mind
Gypsies
People ask me to put twelve in their lives
I tell them not to hurry
Or worry
There are always new hives
Untold Stories
People jump
As they ever can
On the moon
Or in Japan
People sing
As they would know
In a school
Or deep in snow
Peope sigh
As they drop the bottles
In the fields
The rabbits mingle
People dance
As they always do
In a trance
Or at the zoo
Climbing Ladders
I find a shoe
And sofly wear it
I see the world
And grin and bear it
I find a coin
And leave it standing
I search the city
For a happy landing
The Ten Indian Commandments [*]
1.Treat the Earth and all that dwell thereon with respect.
2.Remain close to the Great Spirit.
3.Show great respect for your fellow beings.
4.Work together for the benefit of all humankind.
5.Give assistance and kindness wherever needed.
6.Do what you know to be right.
7.Look after the well-being of mind and body.
8.Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good.
9.Be truthful and honest at all times.
10.Take full responsibility for your actions.
The "Ten Indian Commandments" were found hanging on the wall of a pub in Bodrum,
Turkey.
The Pharoah
I was born in the pyramids of Egypt
I rule the armies of the Nile
I try to climb a stairway to the stars
I will be buried in the grandest style
more peoms - and altered Imaginary Conservations.....
Recovery
One night I woke up to find
That I had just lost my mind
You would hope that this is rare
Maybe I'll just use my spare
xxxx poems-99.txt
Relaxation
I walk down to the soft green ocean
I see the perpetual waves in motion
I watch a fish and eat a sandwich
I throw a circle onto the beach
I throw the dice
I play the cards
I rake the leaves
I clean the yards
I drift on clouds
I feel the breeze
I bend the spoon
Across my knees
I fill the cup
I catch the sun
I fall asleep
I climb for fun
I pull an idea out of my hat
I let it wande across the sky
I fold it neatly and watch it softly
Then something else distracts my eye
Decisions Decisions
My doctor told me I was mad
I said mate they're all so sad
Then he told me all about the cost
How all the little people got lost
I listened to his tragic story
What happened to the ancient glory
Outsmarted by their own inventions
Despite their very best intentions
Now it's too late to say goodbye
Silent objects pierce the sky
Haunted by their own illusions
Strangers talk of old solutions
A story at nightime
I saw a ghost in a jar of sand,
He asked me If I had any jokes,
I said I have no fear of candles,
So he took me off to meet his folks
Journey of a Lifetime
People tell me to run through the famous city,
Then they watch me wander along the beaches,
When I shift the soldiers buttons,
They sell me a jumper with extra sleeves
Therapy
Tell me how you really feel
Tell me if my thoughts are real
Tell me why you scream in fright
Tell me how you get through the night
Tell me all your darkest fears
Tell me about the empty years
Tell me what tomorrow may bring
Tell me why I rarely sing
Tell me I'm mad
Tell me I'm sane
Give me pills
To calm my brain
Milky and Crunchy
How many aliens are living in my brain
You cant think like that you must be insane
How many ways can a man bend his mind
With a full explanation of evrything sublime
How many dollars should a man be paid
How many ways must a question be asked
How may I help you and thank your days
How would I ever believe in the phrase
xxxx poems.txt
Foreign Legions? or Artificial Sweetener ??
How many aliens are living in my brain
You cant think like that you must be insane
How many ways can a man bend his mind
With a full explanation of evrything sublime
How many time can a world be destroyed
How do you console all the unemployed
How many ideas have been crushed out of sight
How do people justify the crimes of the night
How many days can you be distracted
In dreams you have always interacted
How many nights can be frittered away
How do we even continue to play
How many dollars should a man be paid
How many ways must a question be asked
The Nightmare of Schizophrenia
Each day I wake up and ask
Is this the day I go completely insane
It seems a never ending task
To subdue the demons in my brain
I try to pretend that all is fine
I search for answers that don't exist
I wonder if my thoughts are mine
Is there anything left to twist
I feel like an eagle trapped in a cage
For the amusement of some unseen crowd
I struggle against the rusty chains
My silent thoughts seem so loud
My feelings have all been hijacked
By who or what I do not know
I am the earth after a comet's impact
For me there is no tomorrow
Can I go on like this much longer
I fell like vanishing down the hole
Can I find a way to be any stronger
Is there a way to reclaim my soul
Impossible Dreams
Voices raised in effortless symphony
No barriers to total harmony
Leaders who do not act like fools
Who never try to bend the rules
Ancient wisdom being taught in schools
Buildings constructed without tools
People communicating honestly
Through telepathic means
A total absence of violence
From our TV screens
An end to the pursuit of welath
Could even improve your health
An end to every exploitation
A true union of all nations
A random assortment of important words assembled in no particular order
Instinct, Impulse, Open, Assumption, Energy, Force, Creativity,
Sublime, Effortless, Harmony, Memory, Elevation, Behaviour, Merge,
Harmony, Peace, Vision, Cooperation, Understanding, .....
My own ten thousand volts
Electrified by some unseen force
Is it true or is it false
I don't know and I don't mind
Unless of course I end up blind
Friendly Persuasion (revisited)
People tell me I'm in the wrong place
They put cream all over my face
I hope that I will not choke
As I tell them all a joke
When they start pouring
Soup down my neck
I am quite puzzled
I might even object
Instead I start to laugh
Soon they all join in
I am not really worried
I know the soup is thin
Therapy
Tell me I'm mad
Tell me I'm sane
Tell me anything
Tranquilise my brain
Tell me about your awful life
Tell me why you have no wife
Tell me all your darkest fears
Tell me about the empty years
Tell me if the room is spinning
Tell me if your team is winning
Tell me why the cats are grinning
Tell me if there is such sinning
Tell me how you really feel
Tell me if my thoughts are real
Tell me why you scream in fright
Tell me how you get through the night
Tell me what tomorrow may bring
Tell me why I rarely sing
Tell me if the walls can talk
Tell me why we need to walk
Tell me I'm mad
Tell me I'm sane
Give me pills
To calm my brain
Magic Symbols
Medical disciples in slow thankless worlds
Unknown and unheard they crawl on grey carpet
They wait for the seventh season of their lives
And search for the random chaos of events
Twelve in the way and twelve in the day
Merrily saved and they fall down in play
Thrown from the battle and grown in the sun
Arranged in tight circles and then only one
Blurred Vision
My eyes were cloudy I could not see
All around me there was such a mist
To find out what the trouble may be
I went along to see the optimist
He gave to me a riddle or two
And three candles which were green and blue
The candles he said were to light the way
While the riddles were there to fill the day
I was so happy I almost shouted
Some new ideas had already sprouted
I thanked him with a golden flower
We laughed together for half an hour
Decisions Decisions
My doctor told me I was mad
I said mate they're all so sad
Then he told me all about the cost
How all the little people got lost
I listened to his tragic story
What happened to the ancient glory
Outsmarted by their own inventions
Despite their very best intentions
Now it's too late to say goodbye
Silent objects pierce the sky
Haunted by their own illusions
Strangers talk of old solutions
People tell me to run through the famous city,
Then they watch me wander along the beaches,
When I shift the soldiers butons,
They sell me a jumper with extra sleeves
I saw a ghost in a jar of sand,
He asked me If I had any jokes,
I said I have no fear of candles,
So he tokk me off to meet his folks
Psychosis
Walking around in a plastic dream
I look into the mirror and scream
Tormented by demons and unseen forces
My mind is wild like stampeding horses
The world drags me underground
I feel like I'm already drowned
I suffocate in the open air
I fall down and don't even care
Why is it so
Does anyone know
Who is to blame
Is everyone the same
I used to walk down the street
And scream at everyone I meet
So they locked me away
From the world evry day
I crawled through the walls
So they showed me some normals
They strangled my mind
To help me unwind
I am a human experimental life-form
My blood flows backwards to keep me warm
My eyes have seen the truth inside
In five days they will run and hide
I used to think I was a robot from outer space
With wires in my head and a little plastic face
I used to believe that I had such magic powers
Which I would glady practice for many hours
I used to think ants were crawling on my brain
I stared at the world and only saw the pain
I used to monsters and ghosts everywhere
I stayed inside and I didn't even care
People ask me if I can save the world
I tell them to leave all the flags unfurled
People ask me about my frozen lifetime
I tell them not to believe in the crime
People ask me about the human mysteries
I tell them to jump up into the trees
People ask me about the human struggle
I tell them they should blow more bubbles
They try to explain the way I behave
Why I continue to rant and to rave
They try to sell me some onions and some red glue
People ask me about the stars in the sky
Which vanish in the twinkling of an eye
My choice is the choice of lifetimes
Your choice is the choice of new crimes
People ask me about the detrimental phrase
I say words can confuse in so many ways
I watch all the people silenty screaming
In a world of delusions tears are streaming
While fools and lunatics lead them astray
Into endless cycles of work and of play
In my mind I build a green forest
Where monkeys frolic and birds nest
The forest is real in every sense
No need for alarms or even a fence
Boy these at 4am in torrrrential rain after 6 days of heat!
Call this one Back to Nature?
I walk through the forest like a chinese doctor
I let the mystical landsape surround me
I feel the internal magic of the moment
Until I bump into a laughing monkey
Add to Relaxation:
I throw the dice
I play the cards
I rake the leaves
I clean the yards
I drift on clouds
I feel the breeze
I bend the spoon
Across my knees
I fill the cup
I catch the sun
I fall asleep
I climb for fun
I pull an idea out of my hat
I let it wande across the sky
I fold it neatly and watch it softly
Then something else distracts my eye
xxxx POSITIVE.TXT
The following excerpts are from a free "electronic book"
I found on the internet. An "electronic book" is one which
can be accessed through a computer rather than the traditional
type of book printed on paper. I found it at the following
internet address: WWW.OZEMAIL.COM.AU/~VITAL1/FREEBKS.HTM
it is about 948,000 bytes so it can be downloaded onto a
floppy disk if you're ever at the library or have access
to the internet. Obviously, the limitations of space only
allow me to give a brief outline of ts contained in the book.
* Your thoughts direct energy to your body and the world around you,
affecting yourself and others
* Concentrate on positive thoughts that keep you healthy, happy and wise.
The conscious mind is like the captain of a large ship, he
makes the day to day decisions. The crew, the subconscious,
maintain and keep the ship in good working order. They rely
on good, clear communication from the captain. If there is
conflict or a breakdown in communication, the ship's safety
could be at risk. Well, so it is with your mind. When the
captain and crew are working in harmony, you are happy and
everything is going well. The crew is the powerhouse of the
ship. Without them, the capta d be almost useless. Without
hte captain, the crew would lose direction and drive.
The subconscious is automatically carrying out the behaviours
you have taken on as habit and freeing your conscious mind
from ahving to think about everything you do. This subconscious
ability to learn habits frees your conscious mind and saves
enormous amounts of your energy. But it can also become
a trap when that habitual behaviour is not in your best interest.
It can take effort and determination to turn that habit around
into a new positive behaviour. Giving up smoking is a good example.
* Every though you have produces a reaction in every living cell in your body.
* Your subconscious reacts to every though you have, whether it is
produced by reality or imagination
* The subconscious communicates by using pictures (dreams) and emotions.
* The subconscious has to be convinced that you want change before
it will change a behaviour or habit.
* You have to allow time for a change in behaviour to become second nature
* Fear is a trap of the mind, focussing energy on what you don't want.
* Your thoughts are the framework on which your subconscious builds
your reality.
* Thought is neutral until you associate an emotion with it. The
type of emotion you associate with the thought determines your actions.
* The emotion you associate with a thought energises it and gives it power.
That is really just a brief summary. The book gives more detail and
examples if this has stimulated your interest.
xxxx PSYCHOSI.TXT
Okay, Let's see if we can assemble all the scattered bit and pieces from
the various txt & doc & htm lately (Jan 99)
(a bit ironic if you think about it)
Psychosis
Walking around in a plastic dream
I look into the mirror and scream
Tormented by demons and unseen forces
My mind is wild like stampeding horses
Why is it so
Does anyone know
Who is to blame
Is everyone the same
I used to walk down the street
And scream at everyone I meet
So they locked me away
From the world evry day
I crawled through the walls
So they showed me some normals
They strangled my mind
To help me unwind
I am a human experimental life-form
My blood flows backwards to keep me warm
My eyes have seen the truth inside
In five days they will run and hide
I used to think I was a robot from outer space
With wires in my head and a little plastic face
I used to believe that I had such magic powers
Which I would glady practice for many hours
I used to think ants were crawling on my brain
I stared at the world and only saw the pain
I used to monsters and ghosts everywhere
I stayed inside and I didn't even care
People ask me if I can save the world
I tell them to leave all the flags unfurled
People ask me about my frozen lifetime
I tell them not to believe in the crime
People ask me about the human mysteries
I tell them to jump up into the trees
People ask me about the human struggle
I tell them they should blow more bubbles
They try to explain the way I behave
Why I continue to rant and to rave
They sell me some onions and some red glue
People ask me about the stars in the sky
Which vanish in the twinkling of an eye
People try to scare me with their rusty knives,
So I smash their skulls and throm them into bee hives
yeah SING that at work and noone will bother you!!! ...
My choice is the choice of lifetimes
Your choice is the choice of new crimes
People ask me about the detrimental phrase
I say words can confuse in so many ways
The world drags me underground
I feel like I'm already drowned
I suffocate in the open air
I fall down and don't even care
I watch all the people silenty screaming
In a world of delusions tears are streaming
While fools and lunatics lead them astray
Into endless cycles of work and of play
In my mind I build a green forest
Where monkeys frolic and birds nest
The forest is real in every sense
No need for alarms or even a fence
I like to paint onions with bright red faces
I send them to people in various places
They cut and they slice them into a bowl
Or throw them downstairs to watch them roll
xxxx SABLEC THE CONQUEROR.txt
SABLEC THE CONQUEROR
Sablec is a Vulcan Viking Warrior. The Vulcans lived somewhat primitive,
although they had the most advanced technological equipment and data
in this section of the Dehogdronesphere. The intriguing part is that
Vulcan, known as the planet of fire, actually developed all their
advanced systems without the use of fire. But one day, Sablec the
bright spark, decided he wanted to make smoke so he invented matches.
Once striking the match he set Vulcan a blaze. The Vulcan people
fled the planet and Sablec was banished from being with Vulcans for
one samtetrons (approx. 100,000 earth years), (but in Vulcan time
is approx. 10 years).
He was alone flying off into the universe, and being such a caring
Viking he decided to visit many prohibited planets which by Vulcan
law was not allowed to inhabit. He has spent many dootrenos conquering
dominant power hungry regimes, thus saving beings from slavery from
greedy overseers. These stories will be told later. But one story
thus a few earthlings know of is when he was thrown out of an extraordinary
planet constellation, by failing to meet the conditions of the planets
requirement by the slave people to remove his chains and metal formed
objects to carry out victory over these planets. For it was because
of metallic instruments these people were enslaved.
These slaves used to chant mantras developing a force field of protection
although the Demon Rulers of their planet had developed far more
extreme measures of combat and protection.
Thus Sablec Kanoptrasion was hurled right across the universe into
the earth and sun constellation. Before he could gather his senses
and control of his chariot, he was hurled into the gravitational
pull of the earth, and his craft managed to land safely.
Now Sablec for the time being was earthbound until he could reconstruct
his self-capability to leave. So while being here decided to venture
this planet earth where as being in the same solar system as Vulcan
these two planets had vowed silence and separation (feuding) about
10,000 dipesetrons ago. So there was very little knowledge of the
Earth and its people.
Sablec as all Vulcans, do have very special abilities to create,
manifest and also destroy, just by speaking things into and out of
existence. As Sablec could not fly his chariot around the earth,
as it was too suspicious and he had no idea of the sophistication
of this planet's quatrngenilogy. After all, as being thrown onto
earth, he did not have time to examine their styles of life. The
only things ever spoken in myth and candid laughter was that earth
was run by mighedreorons. But on earth they called themselves people.
Sablec sat for a while and mesmerise of himself into the form and
knowing of earth ways, by absorbing the atmosphere and transferring
the air and its contents into visible pictures thus transfiguring
as a human. As Sablec knows that all the answers of each planet lies
in a composition of the atmosphere. For each planet that which was
ever spoken, thought, or done since the beginning, the now, and the
here after is present within the composition of each planets atmosphere.
Sablec saw the earthlings in all their intelligence and wisdom advanced
as they were he considered them as backward and uncivilised more
than any other planet he had visited. This made his job somewhat
harder on earth as adopting the mentality of humans he feared he
might lose his powers and not be able to stretch forth and finish
conquering the universe. He found it so amazing that on earth the
only way earth people could make possible anything was largely contributed
to the fact they had to use their hands and that was the only way
they could create. Sablec could step through doorways of Dimensions
and place himself anywhere he wanted to on the earth which he did
often. But he would rather keep himself visible to humans as un-evolved
as they where; was so highly intriguing to him that he couldn't help
but wonder what was the core of their existence and how they had
managed to evolve this for.
As he began to learn about the earth he began to realise that earthlings
were controlled not as much by their own selves or minds. But has
placed much higher values upon things as War, politics and economics,
disregarding the fact of life and even death, but, in gaining Powers
of wealth and Dominance by the things which were outside of their
own minds and body. Sablec quite often broken into hysterical laughter
because of this, but also developed as strong compassion for these
people. Even though Sablec was an evolved being so far greater than
all the mentality of the earthlings put together he still could not
find a way to help them because of their greed and power of greed
and dominance. One day he decided to fly around the world in a Jumbo
Jet to develop a sense power that these rich people had. He did not
take a passenger seat and fly but by the power of speech spoke his
own jumbo jet into existence and entered himself and the jet into
the computer and the things necessary to fit himself into the world
as an everyday human, Birth certificate, tax number etc. He even
gave himself a new name.
As Sablec was studying human life form he also decided to make himself
a down-trodden hobo that was mentally ill on a pension, so as to
see the type of respect he may get as a nobody. But in doing this
he became as if and as a result, would temporarily lose his special
powers due to the fact that Governing bodies would see him as a depraved
lunatic which after all was what he wanted (for his research). But
what he didn't realise was that in living like this they also captured
him and dosed him up with some very strong medicine. He felt doomed,
in all the cosmos and esetranocudemoner he had never encountered
this. So until he could find a way back to the metonaneraganbatic
existence he was stuck with this. He developed many mentally ill
friends and quite often would be found in the spring; sinking a few
billy, to try and release the hold the medication had on him and
anything else he could get hold of. Now as a pensioner he was very
deprived of a sufficient life as he was now governed by money. If
you go to the spring, usually on a Thursday, you will be bound to
meet Sablec, getting drunk and telling wild and wonderful stories
of Planet Vulcan and the tales of conquering most of the entire galaxy,
from dominant beings, and also not forgetting his Jumbo Jet flights
around the world as a multi-trillionaire that has been pirated out
of his money by hi-jackers and military personally for the exploration
of war politics and wealth. Be sure to get your next copy of Sablec
the Vulcan to hear of some of the exciting stories and see how he
gets some of his special power back. If you miss the next copy always
remember you can always go to the Springvale hotel and he'll be
there telling wild stories of when he was conquering the universe
and drinking and trying to remember and release the special powers
he had.
xxxx Stufff for $6 Notebk!.txt
For $6 notebk - mate when willllll you find time - internet (well
card runs out soon!) and shop and appointments ....
- Best articles - Opinion, Imagine, Positive etc
- Best Poems - hard task!
- Poems off 616.89 ??
- Tibet
- Sites etc
- Latest DOC & TXT - Astrol Marilyn etc etc ...
- boy .....
- more ?? ..... mate ....
xxxx The Chaotic Mind - print for Di!.txt
Excerpts from "The Troubled Mind":
Since the beginnings of recorded history, man has been fascinated
with the insane, with their dernaged feeling, thinking, and behaviour.
Insane people with fanciful delusions have at times attracted large
numbers of adherents, who looked upon their psychotic leaders as
prophets or as saviours of some sort. The alluring properties of
the "prophet's" message may be more than just a beckoning of a way
to escpe from the boredom of everyday life. I suspect that many
followers are riveted by a peculiarly ating quality of psychotic
ecstasy conveyed by the "mad" leader. ........
The psychiatric disease that converts man into an other-worldly
creature - at once wiser than the wisest of the sane and yet so
deeply troubled that he suffers more than a terminal cancer patient -
is surely schizophrenia Because of his bizarre loss of contact iwht
everyday reality, the schizophrenic can appeal to us as a messiah
bearing the message of the infinite. For our conception of the universe
is bounded by the straitjacket of conventional thinking processes.
A schizophrenic's self-perception fragmented that he seems to function
at a different plane of consciousness from the rest of humanity.
Some psychiatrists who have dealt extensively with schizophrenics
even wonder wheher the schizophrenic's "psychotic" perception of
the world might not conform more to ultimate reality than does our
sane vision.
Because of such doubts, Ronald Laing, a Scottish psychiatrist,
questions whether schizophrenia should be viewed as a disease
at all in the ordinary sense. He feels that the schizophrenic
experience may be quite a natural one. In schizophrenia,
individuals, for unclear reasons, have entered into an "inner
world" that part of their psyche which is unconscious most
of the time and which contains many of the primitive instinctual
elements "discovered" by Freud.
There was more but I can't locate the book or the photocopies.....
xxxx Tournaments! including rules!.txt
Dec 31 1998 1:00PM 5 min.
Jan 1 1999 8:00PM 5 min.
Jan 1 1999 11:00PM 1 min.
Jan 2 1999 8:00PM 3 min.
All dates/times are CST (Central Standard Time, USA)
..... which is about 17 hrs BEHIND us - so 8 pm is 1 pm here but a day later!
Rules:
Game play in the Tournament Room is prohibited unless you are an entrant in
the tournament. Playing rated games in these rooms could negatively affect the
rating pool. All violators will be subject to suspension from the site.
No computer programs are allowed at anytime.
Kibitz must be left ON at all times. Hosts and sysops need access to the
games for connections and play action. You may turn off "allow kibiters to
talk".
Tournaments are to be considered open events. If you have problems with
any players you are to notify the host or sysop.
Playing postponed games from pervious rounds is prohibited. If a game is
postponed due to opponent not returning, then that game will be forced and
considered dead and will be deleted.
We would like everyone to enjoy these tournaments and as always, want you
to have fun at them.
We have a few suggestions that might make your games more enjoyable.
Remember these are only suggestions:
1.Turn off "animate moves" under table options. This makes your moves
faster for short games.
2.Set your invitations to auto reject. This will keep new players who
don't know the rules from inviting you in a game, while playing in the
tournament.
Remember: These tournaments are for your enjoyment. Have fun!!
Related pages...
Tournament of Champions
Tournaments Hall of Fame
Search for past tournaments results
xxxx Try this! for 5 AM on 5th consec 35 degree day!.txt
Boy ... hardly used ice at all and only 3 hrs air condit - um ... YET another
incentive!! .... anyways ......
(Oh plus! 2 of em were at Leonard in stifling but ooooh! hot hot Caroline!
great titties!!!)
I don't believe anything. Something is either real or it is not real. If you
have to believe to make something real then it was never real in the first
place. Belief is actually a proof that something is NOT real - if
you believe something then it must be false.
Show that to Di ... and psychosis poems and fractal mind .... mate ....
Immediately after that! ... I don't think people want to hear my message.
I don't thjink they are ready for it. If people were ready to hear my message
then they don't need to hear it because they would work it out for themselves.
The rest are lost beyond my reach as they continue to delude themselves. I
weep for them.
Plus a stack lately aint been recorded .. oh well ....
More Ideas ....
Internal Magic (of the insane?)
I used to think about ....
Thank me for the ....
I walk down to the soft green ocean
I see the perpetual waves in motion
I watch a fish and eat a sandwich
I throw a circle onto the beach
and that one about "famous city" - call it Journey of a Lifetime ??
xxxx VOG password and notes already!.txt
30 Days starts on 22 dec 98 - worth subscribe ??
Nietzsche and ha6J2mya
Some great ones already !!!! Including the VERY first
where I jump from 0 to 1700 and that may be the highest I get?
Time limits - ooh 1 min is a bit crazy!!! But 2 mins is nice ....
have to adjust BEFORE press start
*** Can exit then re-enter room if it "freezes" on you ??
*** Bots ?? - Ctrl-Alt-Del !! cos they freeze ?? or is it my pedestrian
PC ????
*** Also can Alt-Tab cos close a game window is viewed as resign!!
Profile - nationality, age , sex, experience etc .....
Right click - eg to invite .... chat window too !!! and history recall !!!!
Now a tie! in 2 min where I got final 2 !!!
Oh by the way that first one!! and 2 or 3 others I thought I was absolutely
gone! some classssic patterns!!!
Oh plus right click to invite etc ... includes BOTS ..
then!!! 13-49 becomes 36-28 on the "Master" level on that windows reversi
game!!! After quite a mixed bag of results!!!
on Chrismas eve! when I "should" be concealing and tidying if Steve lift!
if he ever rings back ....
Then Christmas morn! after poooo sleep!!! - boy I am NOT 1700 level if this guy is!
Shuts me down from very early so there is no "end game" to speak of!! and weeird
problem with invites and I get yanked out of game in progress and cannot return
well .......... send email ....... or FAQ ????
so ..... quit party room and re enter aews!
[see the other text file - russian chic ?? - mate ......]
Boy! I am NOT 1700 if that guy is! closed me off very early so it never got to "end game" ...
Argh !!! - Leshiy.Bot I am in STRONG posit and it freeeezes !!!! - D3 E3, F4 G3, E2 C5,
D6 C7, G5 E1, F5 H6, G4 E6, F2 H3, F3 C2, D1 C1, D2 C6, B6 B4, H5 H4, D8 B8, D7 E7,
C8 F8, B1 A1, G8 H8, F6 C3 ..... IS IT MY PC SPEED ??
xxxx Why printed color differs from screen colour !!.txt
If you have problems matching printed color to screen color
You will find that the colors in printed publications don�t always match the colors you see on your screen. This is caused by the differences in the way color monitors and color printers work.
On your monitor, the colors you see are made by mixing red, green, and blue glowing dots. Creating colors in this way is called additive mixing. In additive mixing, red, green, and blue can be used to create any color of light, including white.
On your printer, the colors you see are made by mixing various proportions of cyan, magenta, yellow, and sometimes black inks. This is called subtractive mixing. In subtractive mixing, cyan, magenta, and yellow can be used to create any color of paint; if you mix equal amounts of them, you get black.
When you fill an object in a publication with aqua (the term Publisher uses for cyan), that color is made by mixing equal portions of green and blue light. Because the human eye is especially sensitive to blue and green light, this color appears very bright. When you print this object, it is colored with pure cyan ink. When you look at this object on the printed page, however, you are actually seeing white light reflecting off of cyan ink. This makes the ink look less intense than the light coming from your
monitor.
To help you compare color differences between your screen and the printed publication, Publisher provides a color sampler publication that contains all 50 standard color schemes and the standard color palette. To print the color sampler, enter "Color" in the Publisher Help Index, and then click "printing sampler". In the Help topic, click "Click here to print the color sampler." The sampler will be printed to your default printer.
xxxx Your devious mind never stops does it! Publisher Downloads!.txt
AT the time I thought fuck off what are you doin to me!!
Is it my end or bloooody PC User again?? 20 mins into a 70 min download
(yes, incentive for faster modem!) I hear the click of a disconnect!!!
I examine the CAB file - just fonts! and no Creepy!
Ah! skip it! - hmmm - would that tend to stuff up an install??
could make a dummy file? there are utils for CAB file creation ??
And could even download BITS of other large files to see what's inside AEWS!
... and even ??? do batch file for grabbing off Leonard ???? hmmm.....
Could even grab their exe file - oh you are a deviant !!!!
xxxx $$Upload.doc
Uploads
Written July 98 !!! (period of huge cash outlays! And Frank! And
considering CD backup anyways.....)
(Some at Windows Support, Crystal etc ??) Main ones at PC User ......
FUNKY SFDL SAVERBTN OIL(rename to OIL$$$) TRIBOLO(rename to
TRI$BOLO.REG) MJBB & BWCC (now Mahjong CD anyway) APPORG _ICONS
W95CURSOR WAVES2 STARWAVS REVERSI W95_TIP DOUBLINK MAGICS32
PCIMAG MATSUSHI MFI ?? BIGTXT23 DOSTIPS REDWARF OCCULT
These have encrypted: 4WINDS(has encrypted Footy Facts!) TILESA-
C ?? SHIDAO OIL-1.ZIP EDESK95 SETMEUP ?? ADDRMC GROW95 MIMOSIL
WILLS96 QUIKCLIP XMAS97 TOYTHEME (July 98)
July 98 after outrageous Diane!!!! CM211 has thelight and
huge addons to Journey
And Diane wants to see it despite my saying it could blow her mind!!!!!!!
Then after 40th !!!!!! Sent THELIGHT with bigtxt version of thelight
and encrypted latest
Sparked by outrageous day and Karly and stax!!!!!
Hmmm do they wait - well judgin by the message area foul ups they
do !!?? ... do they wait cos uploaded THELIGHT twice and not appearing
on file lists yet ???? So uploaded ALIENS~1.ZIP with even more insipred
lunacy ?? and the day after that .... More embellishments to the
epic poems and more ! hmm.......
29-7-98 also did a big update and sent it to Crystal in the file
WIN-98!.ZIP ... will they keep it long ? It contains Bigtxt versions
of the win 98 info but each says "This was produced by the unregistered
version" ... hmmmmm It contains a bunch of goodies - obviously latest
DOCs & 4dos& registry & LNK & saves & solves & Bat etc... not complete
but not bad
I also sent win-98!.zip to Pc user it is interesting! that thelight
AINT there but aliens~1.zip is ! Do they hate religion as much as
me ??????
Aug 98 (during!!!! God for a dog that I don't feel real connected
to! Pet Cab? And foot may have problems? And now of COURSE Les cant
take her .... ) I decided to get a BIT more efficient! Okay mainly
PC User but even then I should LIST contents so don't double up as
much! There'd be several copies encrypted of the same stuff???
Okay, ALIENS~1.ZIP HAS: books4.zip which by now is a bit outdated
hmmm......
(Note the same file at crystal has the above PLUS 4dos, brief list
of c & d drive, best of the batch files, some nels, book 4 & book4-
2, word & excel 97 quik ref, journey2, my notebook, People & its
Sequel, start menu, desktop, a few ini ......registry, $short story,
book 1 to 3, confusion, imagine, more big questions, murphy, negative,
the dream, and is obviously a bit more up to date with Leonard articles -
have I sent it yet to crystal?? - well if I aint, I sent the exact
same dat file in rf96.zip to pc
user! See below!)
.................. goto page 2 ..........
So I send RF96.ZIP to PC User - has latest stuff as in read details
of aliens for crystal - registry etc..... but just realised it DON'
T have copy of this as I am editing away in background oh well they
say you can't have everything ....
Aug 98! - PWTERM32 to both, RENDER20, see below - Crystal so far ....
now sent XFILES95 to both Sep 98.
After Qld - _XFILES.ZIP to pc only, has latest surge! up to 8 poems
in one PUB! and DOG.PUB !
APPLAUNC.ZIP - sent to both BUT crystal version is more up to date -
Tables of poems and compile of what to print at Flinders or Leonard
PLUS COMBINE.ZIP !
KAL-98.ZIP sent to both in early OCT 98 - manic surge continues....
pc user version is more up to date this time....
Well manic surge is ongoing! DLLSHOW.ZIP - best version at pc user!
after Di! plus DATASAFE.ZIP at both has excel 97 examples off course
etc!
It keeeeeps comin ........ (DAT files and TAFE floppy etc and Di
version! ....) so sent CLNHOUSE.ZIP off new Trouble shooter cd! Crystal
first, so PC is better version!
Surge absolutely conitnues ( a few hiccups!) - 32ML2.ZIP & SCURPC95.
ZIP - best version went to crystal - and almost Altered reality but
transfers are dodgy!
And now Glenn!!????
Been slack - now have sent MATHLAB 3DJONGG OTHELLO98 OTHELLO_
& SEXY & KWINSLET TO CRYSTAL - AND SOON MIRA .. MATE .....
These are "older" ones...... remember $upload.zip and see dates of uploads! think! ..
WIN-98!.ZIP has: similar to the crystal version of aliens but no
registry and not as many up to date docs. That's the pc user copy
of win-98!.zip mate.......
TOYTHEME HAS: just text version of various creations up to early July 98
XMAS97.ZIP has: up to early June docs including a journey through madness
MIMOSIL.ZIP has: a March 98 update - 4dos, batch, denise, nels, tips
since uploaded tips?, tfw, qedit, system.dat & user.dat, (before
word97??), desktop and a lot from c:\shortcut\ hmm......
SETMEUP.ZIP has: Jan 98 reports, 4dos, lnk, not a lot really?
ADDRMC.ZIP has: a few early articles - still in the wps format!
CM211F.ZIP has: BOOK4 & 4-2, JOURNEY2, PEOPLE, THELIGHT early July 98
EDESK95.ZIP has a lot! Descrip files, reports, lnk, batch, registry
Dec 97 (which seeems ages ago!!!)
GROW9511.ZIP has morphello, hawking, suggestion box efforts, wps articles Mar 98
QUIKCLIP.ZIP has A Journey, books 1 to 4, Murphy, UFO etc May 98
WILLS96.ZIP has Apr 98 tips, word97 stuff, shortcuts - lots, qedit etc
BIGTXT23 has: the prog itself plus - TWO DAT files! - some old grabber! of Holmes, Ray Teh etc!!
SHIDAO37.ZIP has: encrypted best of oil captures and one doublink - NOT the million point effort!
Crystal - RENDER20.ZIP has some bigtxt oldies, Gilbert & me from
Newsletter!, Journey added to, Pathways, Footy, Reports from Aug
CD!, LNK,
Crystal - I am getting a bit carrried away! I mean I rarely read
or even glance at ancient PCD, Textlife, Bigtxt, Grabber etc even
though interesting.... Ooh well......
3 days before Qld 98! - PWTERM32.ZIP (if it aint there already?) -
OLDIES in Textlife!, old oil, HUGE PCD collection!, a couple of articles -
saints!, BOOKS 1 to 5.
Boy am I ever ..... same call! W95_tips.zip to crystal has the tips
but also encrypted collection af articles to 10-8-98! Hmm..... tips
are in the bigtxt format! Dodgy??
God, now! During and after painful long walks to vet - he says wait
cos there aint no way to explore the wound unless knock her out ! .....
Created "D:\$ Lists of encrypted uploads" with full listings - a
bit obsessssive ?? same with DAT files at Leonard??
***** Download past ones to see what goodies is in each ........ ************
xxxx ASTROL.DOC
*** Astrological report - boy !!!! is some of that so spot on it'
s scary - seee page 16 at least (as usual only skimmed thru it at
all looking for something else - irony ? ) ..... here's a bit aews! -
You are an expert at working with words that communicate mystical
and mythological ideas. You are at home in these realms and can always
manage to bring other-worldly ideas into the practical realms. You
would make an excellent teacher of philosophy or religion, for you
can't help but communicate these subjects and enchant all who come
to know you. Your understanding of the unity behind appearances,
along with the ability to put these thoughts into words, is a rare
and valuable gift. You would make a good director, for you like working
with mental images.
BOY !!!!!!!!
I do NOT imagine they'd write that in your average profile ??!!!!
Ironic! as one of my many "rehearsals" is "I think in slightly different
circumstances I could be a cult leader" ..... for Rosie ??? Yeah -
that bit in "Chaotic Mind" I can't locate the book - on photocopies
on an old notebk !! hmm.....(ah, it also has photocops of 3 Christs! -
Di ?? plus Nietzsche too - from my more angry period! plus Zen dance
etc from OMNI !plus TT scores! ) - in fact do separate file - print
for Di ? and I now think it is called THE TROUBLED MIND ?? HMM....
Excerpts from "The Troubled Mind":
Since the beginnings of recorded history, man has been fascinated
with the insane, with their deranged feeling, thinking, and behaviour.
Insane people with fanciful delusions have at times attracted large
numbers of adherents, who looked upon their psychotic leaders as
prophets or as saviours of some sort. The alluring properties of
the "prophet's" message may be more than just a beckoning of a way
to escape from the boredom of everyday life. I suspect that many
followers are riveted by a peculiarly cating quality of psychotic
ecstasy conveyed by the "mad" leader. ........
The psychiatric disease that converts man into an other-worldly
creature - at once wiser than the wisest of the sane and yet so
deeply troubled that he suffers more than a terminal cancer patient -
is surely schizophrenia Because of his bizarre loss of contact with
everyday reality, the schizophrenic can appeal to us as a messiah
bearing the message of the infinite. For our conception of the universe
is bounded by the straitjacket of conventional thinking processes.
A schizophrenic's self-perception
fragmented that he seems to function at a different plane of consciousness
from the rest of humanity. Some psychiatrists who have dealt extensively
with schizophrenics even wonder whether the schizophrenic's "psychotic"
perception of the world might not conform more to ultimate reality
than does our sane vision.
Because of such doubts, Ronald Laing, a Scottish psychiatrist,
questions whether schizophrenia should be viewed as a disease
at all in the ordinary sense. He feels that the schizophrenic
experience may be quite a natural one. In schizophrenia,
individuals, for unclear reasons, have entered into an "inner
world" that part of their psyche which is unconscious most
of the time and which contains many of the primitive instinctual
elements "discovered" by Freud. ...... He views the schizophrenic
episode
tentially enriching experience, perhaps reminiscent of a psychedelic
trip on LSD. "This journey is experienced as going further in, as
going back through one's personal life and back and through and beyond
into the experience of all mankind, of the primal man, of Adam and
pehaps even further into the beings of animals, vegetables and minerals"
If society would only allow them to embark on this journey unimpeded
by social pressures, psychiatrists or tranquilizing drugs, they would
emerge from it as better pople.
There was more but I can't locate the book or the photocopies.....
dealing with fragmentation of the personality; a feeling of merging
with the universe; a fusion of the soul with the infinite and comparisons
between that and the beatific experience of Eastern religions that
mystics train for years to achieve. My own personal feeling is that
there is such a huge parallel that it can't be dismissed merely as "
delusional" thought.
I'll print more if and when I locate the book or the photocopies.
Have fun. Geoff Allen
There was more but I can't locate the book or the photocopies.....
Notes on back of DOS print effort .... Add tips off POSITIVE.EXE - like a thought is neutral UNTIL you associate an emotion with it - very close to Zen ?? .... [Yet, I still think if it doesn't happen INSTINCTIVELY, you're basically stuffed?] ....& Yoda & 10 Indian Commandments ... mate .... Binding ?? .... & then ther's MARILYN.DOC & best of "coping section" .. argh !!! .....
Then ... see The Glory of Madness ..... will I ... People ask me if I'm mad I jump around and sing my song It wont' take long Because I'm mad It won't take long To sing my song I am a beautiful madman I laugh because I'm mad I look at all the people And wonder why they're sad I jump and float I scream and shout I sing like crazy As I walk about You could be as mad as me If you really want it Very soon as you shall see Everyone will flaunt it I crawl like an orange spider in the night I walk backwards into
the light I scream at all the silly people Cringing underneath the steeple I am the voice of the insane I was born like the extra madaman My voice screams out in silent patterns Making clear the infinite plan Yeah sure .....
Latest tafe - Tibet & Egyptian Book of dead; Warne & Guardian; Troubled Mind; ABC online; Positive Thinking; Yoda; etc etc .... Sbs ?? .... A million newspapers and mags - really Dad & Mum would be in their element ... but STD ??? ......
xxxx di-2.doc
Excerpts from "The Troubled Mind":
Since the beginnings of recorded history, man has been fascinated
with the insane, with their deranged feeling, thinking, and
behaviour. Insane people with fanciful delusions have at
times attracted large numbers of adherents, who looked upon
their psychotic leaders as prophets or as saviours of some
sort. The alluring properties of the "prophet's" message
may be more than just a beckoning of a way to escape from
the boredom of everyday life. I suspect that many followers
are riveted by a peculiarly
cating quality of psychotic ecstasy conveyed by the "mad" leader. ........
The psychiatric disease that converts man into an other-worldly
creature - at once wiser than the wisest of the sane and
yet so deeply troubled that he suffers more than a terminal
cancer patient - is surely schizophrenia Because of his bizarre
loss of contact with everyday reality, the schizophrenic
can appeal to us as a messiah bearing the message of the
infinite. For our conception of the universe is bounded by
the straitjacket of conventional thinking processes. A schizophrenic'
s self-perception
fragmented that he seems to function at a different plane of consciousness
from the rest of humanity. Some psychiatrists who have dealt extensively
with schizophrenics even wonder whether the schizophrenic's "psychotic"
perception of the world might not conform more to ultimate reality
than does our sane vision.
Because of such doubts, Ronald Laing, a Scottish psychiatrist,
questions whether schizophrenia should be viewed as a disease
at all in the ordinary sense. He feels that the schizophrenic
experience may be quite a natural one. In schizophrenia,
individuals, for unclear reasons, have entered into an "inner
world" that part of their psyche which is unconscious most
of the time and which contains many of the primitive instinctual
elements "discovered" by Freud. ...... He views the schizophrenic
episode
tentially enriching experience, perhaps reminiscent of a psychedelic
trip on LSD. "This journey is experienced as going further in, as
going back through one's personal life and back and through and beyond
into the experience of all mankind, of the primal man, of Adam and
pehaps even further into the beings of animals, vegetables and minerals"
If society would only allow them to embark on this journey unimpeded
by social pressures, psychiatrists or tranquilizing drugs, they would
emerge from it as better people.
There was more but I can't locate the book or the photocopies.....
dealing with fragmentation of the personality; a feeling of merging
with the universe; a fusion of the soul with the infinite and comparisons
between that and the beatific experience of Eastern religions that
mystics train for years to achieve. My own personal feeling is that
there is such a huge parallel that it can't be dismissed merely as "
delusional" thought.
I'll print more if and when I locate the book or the photocopies.
Have fun. Geoff Allen
xxxx Print at Flinders Jan 99.doc
DVJS Adrian Jan 7, 1999 - Boy! well first it's heavy rain for first
time in ages - Omen ?? ...
Then - god I DO tend to ramble near incoherent when nervy! Covered
Newsletter and poems and Mahjong & sports & what type & level of
support & drawing attention to yourself & personality types & kids &
travel & computers & internet
[Plus Mum mentioned - in 25 min call! about new TV & Lounge & video &
upgrade etc etc .. - she mentioned what a shame I can't use my knowledge &
abils .... I'm tempted to say Yeah what a shame! what a shame someone
like ME has to live in an absurd world like THIS!! .... but that
may not go down toooo well ..... NOT to mention the fact that I
AM uncomfortable with certain people & certain situations & that
CAN trigger....Anyway .... oh plus THE biggie! HOW do you describe
Schizophrenia to someone with NO knowledge of it (apart from the
fact I am FAR from convinced the conventional view is accurate!) ...
hmmm.... .... yeah ! I do say some weird stuff when I'm on edge ...
hmm.... Maybe that's why I prefer psychos! ....
**** Plus CLOTHES if interview!!! ****
Now here's alien stuff for Fortune City and a few new poems ?? -
People walk like golden monsters through my life
I think that everyone
should dream about the magnetic robot aliens, who break into your
house every night-time and stick candles up my arse! They told me
I was their favourite madman! They also like to put a Chinese onion
on my head to bring me good luck during the plastic dreams of the
insane.
Show THAT to Di as well as Fractal mind !! mate ...... Psychosis -
Walking around in a plastic dream, I look into the mirror and scream,
Tormented by demons and unseen forces, My mind is wild like stampeding
horses. The world drags me underground, I feel like I'm already drowned,
I suffocate in the open air, I fall down and don't even care. Why
is it so, Does anyone know, Who is to blame, Is everyone the same.
I used to walk down the street, And scream at everyone I meet, So
they locked me away, From the world evry day
I crawled through the walls, So they showed me some normals, They
strangled my mind, To help me unwind. I am a human experimental life-
form, My blood flows backwards to keep me warm, My eyes have seen
the truth inside
In five days they will run and hide. I used to think I was a robot
from outer space, With wires in my head and a little plastic face,
I used to believe that I had such magic powers. Which I would gladly
practice for many hours. I used to think ants were crawling on my
brain, I stared at the world and only saw the pain, I used to monsters
and ghosts everywhere, I stayed inside and I didn't even care
People ask me if I can save the world, I tell them to leave all the